I have been struggling with jet lag recently, and so have often been unable to sleep. It is amazing the thoughts thst come into your mind in the middle of the night. There is something about the darkness that brings out the worst in our soul. If you can think positively in the day time, in the darkness that perspective seems to evaporate.
Instead, the temptation is to let negative thoughts take over. We mull over regrets- could we have handled that differently, what if we had thought of it like this? And all the worries we kept at bay during the day time start to multiply- what if this happens, or that goes wrong, or that plan does not work out. Catastophising, spiralling- it all gets worse in the small hours of the morning. (and can be much exacerbated by mindlessly scrolling to boot!).
So what do we do? We can pray- just offer all the mess to God and say help! A helpful prayer could be ‘ Please help me remember my reliance is on You for all things, and set me free from the burden of trying to work it all out.’ If there are particular worries on our minds- health, relationships, work, finance- we give it over to God. We can do some things ourselves to make things better, but we also need to acknowledge out limitations, the things over which we have no control.
If we first give our worries over to God, then we secondly try to focus on things that can bring hope. Maybe you have a lovely playlist of music you listen to, which can be soothing. Or a favourite bible verse that you repeat again and again till it sinks into your soul. Sometimes people get up and make tea, or watch a comedy for a while and then try to go back to bed. Or you can try lavender on your pillow, or listen to a sleep app bedtime story. Sometimes we just rest, even when we cannot sleep.
I remember the story of Jacob wrestling with God in the night in Genesis 32. It is portrayed as physical wrestling, and by morning Jacobs hip is broken but he finds peace with God, and feels blessed by Him. We can be wrestling too- with regrets, anxieties and worries. Yet sometimes it is non productive, and we get stuck. So we ask God to forgive us for our past mistakes because of Jesus Christ, and pray for new beginnings through the holy spirit. Our prayer might not be answered in an obvious way, but even just to get into the habit of giving our cares snd worries to God, makes a difference in itself. Even in the night, may we know that God is with us.
In another encounter with God, in Genesis 28, Jacob says ‘surely God is in this place, and I was not aware of it.’ Even in the darkest moments, may God’s presence bring hope.
Eternal God of the day and of the night, of the dusk and of the dawn, may we entrust our lives into your care in every hour. In the night, we can feel alone, our fears get the better of us, and we can become desolate and dispirited. Rather than loose ourselves in negative spirals, may we turn our faces to You and shout help. Lord Jesus, when Peter was disappearing under the waves, he cried to You, and immediately You stretched out your arm to Him and saved him. Thankyou Lord, that You hear our cry too, and save us, even from that dark part of ourselves. Holy Spirit, in the midst of our wrestling, remind us of love and light and hope, and bring us to the morning, transformed and blessed. May the light bring perspective and possibilities for renewed trust and strength for each day, in Jesus name, Amen
An umbrella of healing love 