The frustration of invisible disabilities

Hidden dangers?

Disabilities, things we struggle to do, for whatever reason, can be so frustrating. They can be seen or unseen – but still hugely significant to the individual involved. My late husband for example, had a problem with proprioception – estimating depth. This sounds like a small thing, but it meant he had issues doing something as simple as pouring tea, because he would overfill it, and the burning liquid would go everywhere. It also affected his gait, as he couldn’t tell when his foot would hit the ground, so he would be uncertain of each footstep, and more likely to fall.

I have been listening to people with disabilities recently, and some of the indignities endured. We think we are a modern inclusive society, but if you have ever used a wheelchair you discover that this is not true. A floor is uneven, a pavement kerb is too high, and even a disability friendly toilet, doesn’t seem to mean you can turn round in a wheelchair. There are so many obstacles to keeping your dignity. The only consolation, is that there are also many kind people who are ready to help out and go the extra mile.

For disabilities not able to be seen, the issues are just as distressing. Whether it is a neurological condition or a lung problem, or any one of many health conditions, people are often not noticing or dismissive. We live in a society that is often so judgemental. A person I knew with Parkinsons for example, was often treated as if they were drunk, and given no help if in difficulty.

People shouldn’t have to be expected to explain themselves in order to be treated with respect. There are perhaps some practical possibilities of dealing with specific situations. One person talked of having to go out of a cafe to the toilet for example, and they come back and their table with their fresh coffee and not eaten food is cleared. Can we have a nationally recognised card, to leave, to secure a place in a queue or at a table? We need better training too, with people perhaps having to spend a day in a wheelchair to see just what it is like.

In general, the deeper question is how to change people’s awareness and attitudes, to become a kinder more compassionate society. Then if we see some one struggle, instead of ignoring them, we ask how we might be supportive. It might be we can’t do anything, but the knowledge of a sympathetic person can go a long way.

In Colossians 3:12b it says:                              ” you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”      

This is the best way to live, to choose every morning to be kind and compassionate, to show the same mercy and patience as Christ has shown to us.

Gracious God, forgive us that we often react to people who seem different with fear or prejudice. We are too quick to judge someone who takes their time, or is boisterous. Lord Jesus forgive our lack of curiosity and patience. Teach us how to love, with the mercy and forgiveness You show us. May your holy spirit give us insight, and to teach us how to accept and value others, as beautifully as You do us, Amen.

What is life about?

The big questions!

As a teenager, I remember wondering what life is all about. People talked of leaving school, maybe going to college or university, having a family, retiring, travelling and then there was a pause…..    Then we were face to face with our own mortality.

I was searching for answers, and used to wonder if there was a God, and if so what would that God be like, how could I find out. After many questions and discussion and pondering, I came to faith at university, and it was amazing. To look at Jesus’s life and ministry, touching those with leprosy, challenging the corrupt, showing tender love to the vulnerable, teaching about forgiveness- that His life revealed the character of God- that blew me away- a God who stands up for truth and justice, yet stoops to pick up the weary- it made perfect sense to me, and still does. The purpose of our lives is to learn to receive Christ’s love, and then share it with others. God’s  love is my anchor and Jesus’s teaching and way of living his abundant love poured out for all. And the Holy spirit revives my soul when I am empty, and strengthens me when I am struggling, and inspires me to imagine a better world, and how to do a tiny part to partner God in this. What a privilege.

‘ We love because He first loved us.’ 1 John 4:19.

Every day, Jesus teaches me more about love. Henri Nouwen’s concept of the wounded healer seems central, that somehow through the cross, we find forgiveness and healing, and that through the woundedness of our stories, God can also touch the lives of others.

I so want everyone to know how much they are loved. Whatever your struggles or wounds or difficult memories, Jesus wants to bring healing and wholeness. It is often a process, and can involve many stages and twists and turns, but having Jesus with you makes everything better.

Accompanying Colin, watching his struggles as a veteran, with his head injury and ptsd symptoms and difficulties, meant I learned so much, about prayer, and love and holistic therapies that helped him. He still had such a tough time, but finding prayerful and sympathetic people along the way, made all the difference. And so I am grateful.

For now, I wonder what road God is calling me on, as I want to use what I have learned to support others. I don’t have all the answers, but I know that to connect with others seems the greatest privilege in living, to show grace and care, in the same way as God cares so beautifully for us. May we learn to trust Him more.

Dear God, Your ways are so much higher than ours, and we can struggle to understand life. We have so many questions. Lord Jesus, on the cross, You show us the true nature of love, to be willing to lay down your life for others. Thank you for all who show such love for others, people in the medical profession, people who are carers, people who serve at home and abroad. Holy spirit show us our purpose in life, and inspire us to live more closely to our Saviour, and to serve others with the abundant beautiful love that You have shown to us, for surely this is why we are here, Amen.

” sorrowful but always rejoicing”

an umbrella of healing love

2 Corinthians 6: 10

Friends, I have waited a long time before starting to blog. Often I have wondered what to say, and what my message is.

It is such a cliche that everyone has a story to tell, but it feels so essential to life and identity, that I want to try. I am a Christian who doesn’t have all the answers. I love Jesus, and God the father is my Shelter, and His Holy Spirit is gently nudging me to be more creative, to get in touch with my true self, and to have the courage to articulate a little of what that means.

In my core self, I am a bridge builder, a reconciler, an encourager. I am deeply flawed, I make loads of mistakes, I get things wrong, and I feel down at times because I feel inadequate to fulfil what I feel called to do. I wrestle with how to take things forward.

I am also frustrated with cliches in the Christian world – particularly about suffering and pain – eg ” that God has sent you this to make you stronger”. When you are sad and tearing your hair out, and everything is falling apart, with a restless noisy toddler, or a sick husband, these words don’t seem to help.

In psalm 45 verse 1, the psalmist says:

” My heart is stirred by a noble theme,

As I recite my verses for the King

My tongue is the pen of a ready writer.”

God has blessed me so much, even in dark and difficult days in my life, when things made no sense. He encouraged me, and gave me strength, and still brings me healing every day. In Glasgow, it is often raining, and God is like my umbrella, protecting me, keeping me safe, and enabling me to flower underneath His care. And so my blog is called ” an umbrella of healing love”. My prayer that this blog might give space to others to reflect on where they care, to know God’s abundant and compassionate love for themselves, and to connect with Jesus’ healing love in a deeper way.

Wishing you Christ’s healing love,

Fiona

An invitation to pray:

Gracious God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit,

I have so many questions, my heart is restless, I cry to You.

Lord Jesus Christ, reveal to me Your heart of Love,

Shelter and heal me,

Holy Spirit help me find the wholeness I seek, Amen.