Change can be beautiful?

Autumn is such a stunning time of the year, when the trees turn such vibrant colours, and then the winds start to blow and the leaves begin to fall. Keats wrote his famous poem ‘Ode to autumn’ starting with the line ‘season of mists and mellow fruitfulness’ and it is a gorgeous tribute to the sensory richness and symbolism of the season. The variety of colour and textures and sounds are mesmeric.

I love autumn, the multicoloured carpet of leaves on a frosty morning, the deer on the hills, the robin hopping about under hedges. There also seems to be a message that seasons will always come and go and that change is inevitable.

As human beings we are often resistant to change. Whether it is upgrading our phone or improving our diet, or changing job or moving house, we often have a yearning for tbings past. We often experience a deep sense of loss, and grieve old certainties and people no longer with us. We feel like the tree in autumn who has lost all her leaves, but somehow is still standing.

Change can be so painful- especially when it is uninvited or unexpected. We can go through stages of shock, denial, hurt, anger and bargaining. We ask God why He let it happen? If He is good, loving and all powerful, why do some people suffer so much?

These questions are as old as the hills, and we can give some theological answers- God has given us free will, we live in a fallen world, suffering of one kind or another comes to us all. Yet on a personal level, these answers can seem too detached and remote.

An insight might come from Jesus Himself. The Bible says He was the very Son of God, yet His teaching and life which embodied goodness, compassion and justice brought responses of jealousy, slander and violence from many of those around him. He died on a cross, sentenced to death because of betrayal and the brutal whim of a crowd.

Jesus’ example helps us, because He understands suffering, even the darkest experiences of abuse and violence. And so He understands our pain and suffering, whatever we have been through. He sees us, He weeps with us and never gives up on us, and wants to hold and to heal. We are so blessed to have such a gracious Saviour. We are never alone in the dark, we never have to do things all by ourselves. Jesus brings love, healing grace and hope.

And the vision of heaven in Revelation 21:3 and 4 reminds us that one day there will be a new beginning. John wrote;

“And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

What a beautiful vision for the future! Meantime here on earth, change is inevitable, but Jesus walks with us. He consoles us when we are hurting, He gives us courage when we hesitate, He invites us to keep moving forward. He sends His Holy Spirit to enable us to navigate change, even when it is painful. And He invites us to trust Him, to place our lives in His hands come what may, until that ultimate day of new beginnings in God’s nearer presence.

Gracious God, in your presence we feel like small children, mourning the loss of the past, uncertain about the present, hesitant about the way forward. In our fear and sadness, we cry to You for help. In your mercy, You listen to our cries, and remind us that Your precious Son understands us, and gave His life to bring us forgiveness. His crucifixion was painful, cruel and unjust, yet though it, somehow love overcame. When we are questioning and feel alone, Lord Jesus remind us of your presence, and that while things in the world ebb and flow, Your Word is our guide, your love is steadfast and You are worthy of our trust. Grant us the blessing of your holy spirit to bring direction and purpose to our lives, to help us to trust even in days of bewilderment and grief. And so may we go forward in courage and peace, for Jesus sake, Amen.

Courage in small things!

Small tasks can be major obstacles. Pumping up soft tyres is a small job. However you can overthink it. What if the valve doesn’t work, and all the air leaves, and the tyre remains flat forever? What if the calibration is off, and the tyre explodes? What if the pieces of flying rubber injure some one. Maybe a soft tyre isn’t so bad after all.

There are other tasks that are challenging. Reloading and linking an authenticator app on a phone, or getting a wayward printer to work. Or even worse trying to do some powerwashing. Trying to put all the pieces together, apparently with hoses and electricity is almost impossible. And then the end result is meant to be cleaning the ground rather than getting soaked with mud and grime. I got splatted with a torrent of filthy water which smelt very strongly.

Despite all the difficulties of these practical tasks, the only way to learn something new is to try. Trying something different can be uncomfortable, scary and undignified. Yet the only way to learn is to see what happens.

The other thing I have discovered, is that it is ok to ask for help. Knowing an IT person who can advise on technology and explaining the problem can be wise. Speaking to an experienced power washer operator, can enable the right connections to be made so the water flows in the right direction.

Above all else, we can ask God for help. He loves to hear the prayers that we bring, and to bless us. In Isaiah 41:10 it says:

‘Do not fear, for I am with you… I will strengthen you, I will help you.’

Often an unfamiliar or unexpected task can seem daunting. We can worry it will never work out. Taking a deep breath, saying a prayer and trying one more time can work. Asking for help where necessary, can also be ok. Life is so complicated these days- technology, mechanics and electronics. We are expected to learn all these skills! Whether this is truly achievable, is another matter.

Gracious God, we are so thankful that You know all things, and that You alone know the end from the beginning. You call us to be followers of Jesus, to love, to forgive, to pray, to heal. We seek to live well in the world, but we are easily put off by mishaps and obstacles. Give us courage to persevere, to learn, to ask for help, to be positive. Thank you that your Holy Spirit often inspires us, and helps us go in new directions. May we be open to your call, to try new things and when we struggle, to be brave enough to persevere. Amen

Suffering and possibilities of healing.

There is so much suffering in the world just now. You wonder if it is just because we can see it all on the news, that it seems so much worse. Flooding, earthquakes, fighting, wars. Every part of the world is affected.

As a Christian, I yearn for everyone to know that they are loved by God, and that justice will one day prevail. Yet on the darker days of suffering and conflict, I can understand why people might lose hope. However, the Bible reveals a God of goodness and love, and in Jesus’ life, death and resurrection, we can see how suffering can bring possibilities of forgiveness and purpose, that can be transformative for our lives.

When people are questioning or in pain, I reflect on what resources God has given us for us to experience healing. Spiritually, we can listen attentively to people, to pray and to reflect biblical principles of confession, forgiveness and grace. We have doctors and nurses who can treat physical problems. We have psychiatrists and therapists who can support people experiencing psychological struggles, and we are thankful for all of these professions and individuals.

Having a holistic approach to healing seems like an integrated approach to trauma and suffering. Physical symptoms can cause psychological anguish. Spiritual dilemnas can result in physical distress. Mental health pressures can impair physical health. People have to be seen as a whole, to consider their entire history and being, to find relief and possibilities of healing.

In the midst of all this, discernment is so important. There are some practices we might question, or have a problem with. God gave us brains to think and instincts to help us make good decisions. Biblical principles and the wise advice from different experienced practitioners can also help. It can be tough to find an effective and integrated healing pathway.

At the Transform Trauma conference in Oxford earlier this month, I met people from all over the world, therapists, psychiatrists, social workers, researchers – all with a desire to help people be well. There were sessions on new trauma therapies, breath practices to promote regulation, creative practices to enable self expression and many voices challenging institutional injustice. Experienced experts in this field such as Bessel van der Kolk and Gabor Mate challenge some pharmaceutical practices and suggest a variety of approaches to support those who have experienced trauma, violence and suffering.

Whether it is listening to veterans, or people with chronic health conditions, or sitting with whose trust has been broken, or who are struggling with addiction, I think integrated approaches of spiritual, psychological and physical are all needed to promote healing.

I think of the many examples of Jesus healing – whether the blind man at the side of the road, or touching the leper, or of his compassion for the woman who was bleeding. In Matthew 9:35 it says ‘Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness.’

Jesus consistently taught and healed and loved, and tailored what He did for individual circumstances. God shows that same abundant and healing love to us, and then in turn gives us opportunities to pray for and to love others. In a broken and hurting world, what a wonderful calling, to form communities of encouragement, prayer and healing.

Bishop Morris Maddock said that Christian healing is ‘Jesus meeting people at their point of need’, and it is so beautiful that He does this for each one of us. May that grace and healing touch bring a word of grace and rejuvenation which we all seek.

Gracious God, You are our Creator, we are made in your image, and are your beloved children. We seek to do what is good, but we often make mistakes and rebel, and get in a mess. For Jesus sake, forgive us, cleanse us and give us a new beginning. Help us to live well, to eat healthily, have a balance between exercise and rest, and choose to fill our souls with things that edify and inspire. When we are hurting or in pain, may we know your healing touch. Even when we are burdened with regrets and shame, help us find forgiveness and to forgive ourselves. Holy spirit bring health and healing to us, and give us courage to then bring your healing touch to others. May we receive restoration and rejuvenation, so that we can be channels of healing and peace. Even in our brokeness, may we trust that there are possibilities of health and wholness, and discover that out hope has been restored. In Jesus’name, Amen

Creativity and faith- C S Lewis.

I visited Oxford this week for a trauma conference- more of that later. When on a tour round the city, we were brought to St Mary’s close, outside the University Church of St Mary the Virgin. We were walking innocently down this close when the guide said- look at the door- does that remind you of anything? We looked round.

On the wooden door opposite the church entrance was the most beautiful and elaborately carved lion. At the sides of the door were faun figures just like Mr Tumnus. There was also a lampost there……….

St Mary’s church was one of the places that CS Lewis worshipped, and coming out of the side entrance, past the coats in the cloakroom was a door near a lamp post beside a lion and a faun. Coincidence? Maybe not.

C S Lewis wrote the children’s fantasy story ‘The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe’ and the many sequels, to try to convey the themes of the Christian faith to children. He did so through the adventures of four children Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy who through a wardrobe enter into a fantasy land where they came into contact with a white witch and meet a noble lion called Aslan.

Lewis did so because he wanted to use his imagination to create a story as a means of explaining the power and beauty of the Christian story for a new generation. Initially, you read that he took evacuees in during the second world war, and he told stories to entertain them. Over time, these fragmented fairy stories developed into something more substantial, and though subsequent generations, these stories have brought much pleasure and insight, and been retold in series and film.

Descriptions of Aslan the lion, symbolising Jesus are especially intriguing- he is described as good but not safe, as a wild lion. When you encounter him, it is as if he knows everything about you. Susan and Lucy’s relationship with Aslan is especially poignantly exptessed when harm seems to come to him.

In another place it says:

‘Wrong will be right when Aslan comes in sight,
At the sound of his roar, sorrows will be no more,
When he bares his teeth, winter meets its death,
And when he shakes his mane, we shall have spring again.’

If you haven’t read the books or seen the film or series recently, it would be so worth doing! Such a richness of story telling, characters and symbolism which is edifying and can inspire our souls.

Dear God, we are so grateful for Christian poets and authors, artists and song writers, who use their imagination to seek to help us connect more deeply with the beauty and goodness of who You are. May we take time to read, explore and appreciate all that tells us of your love Lord Jesus, so we can take time to soak in your grace and kindness. In You may we find our values and identity once more. Holy spirit inspire us all to listen to your voice, to faithfully and creatively embody your love and truth in our daily lives, with family, friends and neighbours, so we might all shine like stars in the universe, holding out the Word of life to all who seek. Show us how to be and what to do, in Jesus’name, Amen.

Dogs- the most noble of companions!

Gabriel is the most amazing of dogs. He is loyal, trusting and courageous. He is intuitive, energetic and intelligent.

We rehomed Gabriel as a family pet over 6 years ago. He had a difficult history, and he was a handful to say the least. A lurcher crossed with a staffie with a strong prey drive!

In the midst of his enthusiasm for befriending any human being he meets, the thing that stands out about Gabriel is his intelligence. He loves cheese, so he learned to open the fridge door with his nose. When we put a child proof lock on it, that was no deterrent. And when we put him in the next room, he opened the door handle to get into the kitchen. He is one determined dog.

In the last six months, Gabriel has had cancer. He has had surgery and chemotherapy. His prognosis is reasonable . The vet team have all been wonderfully thoughtful and helpful- I cannot thank them enough.

Gabriel has been amazing. He has tolerated the treatment almost without complaint. He has had his pain killers, anti nausea drugs, and just wanted to curl up beside me and rest and heal. He still totally loves eating, enjoys the variety of sniffs on his walks, and wags his tail wildly when he sees me. He is the most noble of creatures!

Pets are such a blessing. With my dog, I have spent so much time with him recently, there has just grown such a deep affinity. I often know what he is thinking- although it can just be a variety of food, walkies and more treats! (He also loves coffee, but I have him on decaffeinated).

Looking after an animal is such a privilege. It has reminded me of the importance of conservation, and to care for every creature, whether giraffes or porcupines, humming birds or sea turtles. Appreciating the intricate way that they are made, their nature and abilities is so inspiring. It is a blessing indeed.

In Genesis 1:21 it says ‘So God created the great creatures of the sea and every living thing with which the water teems and that moves about in it, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good.’ The precious nature and wonder of all living creatures is acknowledged.

Gabriel is doing well just now, and I cherish every day with him, with all his foibles and eccentricities – he is a loyal and wonderful companion. May we cherish all the animals and creatures on this earth, and treat them with thoughtfulness and care.

Creator God, With power and imagination and ingenuity, You have formed all things, all birds and animals and fish, and declared them to be good. Open our eyes to the wonder of the natural world. Lord Jesus we confess that we are greedy, and exploit the earth. We extract resources, we overfish and pollute the waters. Forgive us our destructive attitudes and habits. May our noble and loyal pets remind us of the wonder and unique personality of each creature, and may we treat each one with care and compassion. We thank you for all vets and conservation organisations, who seek to preserve life. Bless all pets, and may we be wise and thoughtful owners, who do our best for all, Amen

The power of theatre.

At the Edinburgh Fringe, I went to see the play ‘In loyal company’. It is a one man play about the true story of a world war two soldier from Liverpool- Arthur Robinson, and what happened to him during his time of active service. It is story beautifully told, with humour, pathos and insight.

It is a production well worth seeing, but especially as it was written and acted in by Arthur’s great nephew David William Bryan. There is something so moving about the story being told by Arthur’s family member. It has a ring of powerful authenticity, as you listen to what happened to Arthur as he is deployed to Singapore, and hear of some of the details of what took place afterwards. The above photo is of Arthur’s nephew Paul Bryan, who does some of the publicity for the show.

Telling the story of a loved one who served is a special privilege, and this is storytelling at its best. You get completely caught up in what is happening on stage, and also on the words at the end remembering those who didn’t make it home, and about why it is all worthwhile.

Reminding people of the significance of past history is so important. In so many families, people have served in conflict and war, and their stories still resonate.

In the bible, there is often a symbolic aspect to memory as when the Passover is celebrated, remembering how God brought His people out of Egypt. Remembering also takes place in the sacrament of communion or the eucharist- when people remember the meaning of the last supper and Jesus’ death on the cross. These rituals help new generations reflect on the meaning of freedom and sacrifice.

Taking time out of our busy lives to remember, always has purpose. It could be to think of a family member who is no longer with us, and to bring to mind their story. It could be a time to recentre on a truth about God, and about the nature of His love. Having a quiet moment to reflect helps us recall the things that are most important in life.

May we take time to ponder stories from the past, and to honour those whose lives are so worthy of recognition and respect.

Gracious and Eternal God, we thank You for all the creative ways there are to tell a story, through theatre and film, word and song. We thank you for the bible, for stories of men and women who trusted You in the most difficult of circumstances, and of Jesus Christ our Saviour, willing to lay down His life, out of love for all people of every age. Lord Jesus, may we follow your exanple, and live lives of love and meaning. Holy Spirit, may we think.of those who have given their life for our sake, and use us to share the ultimate story of love and sacrifice for all. May we be inspired by your example Lord Jesus, to pray, serve and love, now and always, Amen.

A partial eclipse.

The other day, I thought that there would be no chance that I would see the partial solar eclipse. I was boarding a plane in London. I had no special glasses. I didn’t have a colander with me- strangely. Nor did I have a cut up cereal packet to look through. All the instructions were not to look at the sun, so people were trying to take pictures from the plane with their eyes shut. This did not bring about a good calibre of shot. What we could see of the sun was that it was incredibly bright- it seemed to take up the whole sky.

Somehow, in the midst of all the restrictions, from the plane window, this shot was taken. You can just see the image of the eclipse reflected in the lens of the camera, above the sun.

One of the British Airway cabin crew then gave us some special glasses to look through, and all of a sudden we could see the eclipse clearly. It was an incredible experience, to see the shape of the moon impacting on the circular shape of the sun. To stop and think that this was the moon partially blocking the sun’s rays was quite spectacular. It could only be seen with the glasses, and was really awesome- the sun, moon and earth all aligned.

I did try to take a photo, but it meant aligning the phone to take a picture through some dark glasses, out a reflective window of a moving plane without looking in the right direction. This enterprise came to nothing!

Just having seen the eclipse was enough. It was strangely powerful, and also came about through a lovely British Airways staff member, and the team work of passengers on a plane sharing glasses and trying to help each other out. It was really lovely to be part of this group, filled with awe and good will.

It reminded me of a bible verse: ‘For by him (God) all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him.’ Colossians 1:16

People had different experiences of the partial eclipse, some had clouds, darkness, bright light, strange reflections. However we experienced it, people are often speaking of how it has inspired them to think of the vastness of the universe, to reflect on the wonder of all things, and that it was a deeply spiritual experience. Anything that invites us to marvel at the nature of the universe, and to contemplate the nature of our Creator, must be a good thing.

Gracious and Loving God, the fabulous Creator of the universe, we bow down and worship You. In You all things are created, from cosmic dust to stellar nurseries and neutron stars, things we don’t even begin to understand. We marvel at the magnificance of all things. Lord Jesus, as we marvel, may we recommit ourselves to looking after our world, not polluting it or exploiting it. May we treat all things with reverance and care. Holy spirit, bring order out of chaos once again, and breath new life into our planet where eco systems are under such strain, and where renewal is so needed. Hear our prayer, for your glory’s sake, Amen.

The call of the sea..

I live inland. There are many days when that is a blessing- I can enjoy visiting the city nearby, with its shops and museums and theatres. Every now and again though, I feel the call to the sea- to a spacious sky, the raucous cry of the seagull, the salty smell of seaweed and the roar and crash of the waves.

Today was a day when I needed to visit, and I was fortunate to have that opportunity. It was a mixed day- a bit moody with showers and black clouds with rays of sunshine occasionally breaking through. The things is there is no bad weather at the shore- it can be peaceful or dramatic, melancholy or inspirational. Even in a storm, the sound of the waves crashing on the rocks can be mesmeric.

Science verifies our instinct that time at the seashore is good for us- we know that the crashing of the waves brings negative ions and increased seratonin, and the acoustic rhythms of the breakers bring somatic release and the reduction of cortisol. (that is the simplified version!)

There is also a spiritual aspect to just being at the ocean. The poet Rainer Maria Rilke said:

‘When anxious, uneasy and bad thoughts come, I go to the sea, and the sea drowns them out with its great wide sounds, cleanses me with its noise, and imposes a rhythm upon everything in me that is bewildered and confused.’

Another poet George Herbert said more simply: ‘He that will learn to pray, let him go to the sea.’ For him there was something of the vastness of the ocean that brought humility, and a realisation of the power and mystery of God.

People throughout all of time, have tried to put into words the healing power of just being at the sea.

In the bible too, in the psalms it says:

“Mightier than the waves of the sea is His love for you”. Psalm 93:4

Jesus spent so much time on boats with fishermen, and on beaches and on water. It formed the backdrop to some of the most amazing aspects of his teaching and miracles.

It is good, where possible, to spend time at the ocean- to find perspective, to rest, to be inspired, to find restoration for our souls. May we indeed find healing in reflection and space, watching white horses chase across the blue horizon!

Gracious God we can be so busy, preoccupied and anxious. We thank you for times that You call us to the sea, to rest, to reflect and find space. Lord Jesus you called fishermen to follow You, You stilled the storm, You commanded the waves- so great was Your power. Thank you that when we feel overwhelmed, we can come to the seashore, just to be. Holy spirit blow away deceptions, soothe our troubles, challenge our complacency, restore our energy, rekindle our hope. In the ocean breeze, may we discover fresh purpose and inspiration to sustain us for all that lies ahead, for your name’s sake, Amen.

From overwhelm to peace.

I was having an off day. Do you ever have a day when you feel out of step with what is going on around you? I was ruminating over some different things that I just couldn’t figure out. So I got up early in the morning, went out and sat down on a seat overlooking the water.

Thoughts were going round in my head. Is this the right way forward, so was it too much? Should I factor this in? What about this? However I looked at my dilemna, I just couldn’t work it out. The harder I tried, the least it all made sense. It was exhausting and dispiriting.

After a long time, I looked at the seat I was in. It was a wee double seat, and I thought God was saying to me- you don’t need to work it all out right now. Jesus is with you- just know He is present and find peace.

This was such a relief. There was me trying to figure so many things out, and Jesus was just inviting me to know He was there, and that this was enough. I still didn’t have all the answers, but I was seen and loved by the King of the universe, and this in itself was wonderful.

Instead of wracking my brain, I just needed to listen to God. It reminded me of words from Jeremiah:

‘Call to me and I will answer you, and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’ Jeremiah 33:3

It is reassuring that we are not left to our own devices, but can trust that God is wise and knows all things, and all we need to do is listen. What a great way to exist. We don’t have to figure it out by ourselves, relying on our own devices. We can bring our cares and worries to God, and ask Him to help. What a blessing.

Gracious God, we are like stubborn children trying to be independent and do things ourselves. And we are always surprised it doesn’t work. Forgive us for our pride and self reliance. Lord Jesus, thank you for the invitation to come to You, and to find peace in your presence. Thank you that we do not need to figure everything out, but just to trust. May your holy spirit guide us, and help us discern Your voice, Your message of love, in Jesus’name, Amen.

Inspirational nature!

This week, I had the privilege of visiting Akagera national park in Rwanda. We left at 4am, to arrive early to have the best possibility to see the animals. They are more likely to be out in the cool of the morning or evening, going down to a waterhole for a drink. Everyone is looking for the ‘big five’ – lions, leopards, elephants, rhinos and buffalo!

Akagera park is in north eastern Rwanda, is 433 square miles wide, and consists of diverse habitats, including the Kagera river, lakes, swamps and savannah plains. It has an amazing variety of aminals, and over 400 different types of birds!

It is an extraordinary place to visit. Guides take you through the landscape on bumpy dust tracks in your vehicle- you round a corner and see hippos and crocodiles in the river, then giraffes walk across in front of you, and an elephant peers at you through the bushes. It does feel like the garden of Eden! There are so many birds with exotic hues and amazing songs. Stunning.

You can be travelling for a while, and just enjoy the views. Then suddenly you see a different species. The vehicle stops, the binoculars are out, and the debate starts. What kind of bird is that? Seeing a malachite kingfisher or a fish eagle is such a magnificent sight. And it is an exciting process just not knowing what you will see next.

Towards the end of the most memorable of days, we gathered on the plain, and watched zebra, waterbucks, buffalo, impala and lions. Surprisingly they were all sharing the same space very harmoniously. It might only have lasted for a few minutes, but they were all together and at peace.

It reminded me of the vision in Isaiah 11 of God’s holy mountain, where it says in verse 6

    ‘The wolf will live with the lamb,
    the leopard will lie down with the goat,
    the calf and the lion and the yearling together;
    and a little child will lead them.’

It is a vision of perfect harmony, when old fears, animosities and cruelties have melted away in the perfect presence of God, and all creatures and people are at peace.

Standing on the plain in this gorgeous place, it was a moment of stillness in the vastness of the landscape to experience the magnificence of God. It was pure worship, with a sense of the possibilities of revelation and hope, that one day the world can be a better place, a place where there is forgiveness, redemption and reconciliation. It is God’s gift to us, if only we will embrace it.

Creator God, what an imagination You have to have fashioned so many amimals and birds, each with a striking and unique design and personality. Thank you for quiet moments when we have an opportinity to consider Your creation, the work of Your hands. We are in awe of Your majesty and inventiveness. As your creatures we rebel and often live in strife and conflict, but You came Lord Jesus to give up Your life for us, to bring possibilities of reconciliation with You and with one another. May we leave behind jealousies and resentments, and choose to live in harmony and peace. May your holy spirit inspire us through moments of deep communion with nature, to see how You would like us to live, and to glimpse a foretaste of heaven. And may this inspire us to be peacemakers on earth, for Jesus sake, Amen..