Beautiful souls.

In recent weeks, a number of friends have passed away. The world seems an impoverished place because of their loss. They were people of creativity and positivity, of grace and faith. They were a joy to spend time with, to learn from, to be inspired by. Their Christian faith shone from them. I pray for their loved ones who miss them intensely.

In the midst of a world where people can be detached and difficult, it is good to remember those who have gone before us, who have inspired and blessed us. Having sifted my memories, I have realised afresh the vast number of beautiful souls whom I have had the privilege of meeting. People who have been gifted teachers, who have cared selflessly for loved ones, who inspired by their life choices, who have shown kindness in the most difficult of circumstances. It is good to pause and notice all who have blessed and encouraged us.

In Hebrews chapter 12, in verse 1, we are told that : ‘since we are surrounded by a great crowd of witnesses, let us throw of everything that hinders us and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.’ This is a beautiful reminder of the encouragement of those who have gone before us, that they are cheering us on, as we seek to put one foot in front of another. It speaks of how we are all united in Christ in this life and the next, and of the assurance and connection which this brings.

We give thanks for these people who have had such a positive impact on our lives, and we are grateful. It also makes me reflect on how many beautiful souls are still about today, people who pray, who encourage, who show up even when it is costly.

It is good to realise all the inspirational people who bless us, and for us to take every opportunity to say how much we appreciate them. We might remember them in our prayers, send a text, or send a card. So often we can take people for granted, and so taking time to say we see them and value them can be crucial. There are so many who criticise and judge, it is more important than ever to lift one another up, and to appreciate and encourage.

Gracious God, we ask forgiveness that people in this world can be so polarised in their opinions, so ready to criticise and disparage. I confess that I also can be quick to judge. Cleanse me, Lord Jesus, and help me to love as you love me. Help me cultivate an attitude of grace and appreciation to others, to speak kind and true words, and only what is necessary. May the example of beautiful souls inspire us, to seek to reflect Your love and light in this world. Holy spirit, with thankful hearts, may we honour their legacy, may we create rather than destroy, build rather than tear down, and wherever possible bless and encourage, in Jesus’ name, Amen

Dawn- every day a new beginning.

It sounds so obvious, but every day is a new beginning. The temptation can be to dwell in the past, to go over old memories, for them to dominate our priorities and decision making.

Of course our experiences shape our character and our choices. We give thanks for what is good, and lament over the pain and the grief. Yet it is so important that the darker experiences don’t obscure the good or restrict our capacity for hope. It is easy to dwell in the slough of despond, that it speaks of in Pilgrim’s Progress. In Bunyon’s Pilgrim’s Progress, this is characterised as a place of guilt and despair, a place that only God can rescue us, and bring us back onto the path, so we can move forward.

We might have regrets- times where we wonder if we made the best choice. We might have guilt- I wish I had not said that. We might wrestle with consequences of our actions, and the melancholy of wondering what if.

For me, the healthiest way of dealing with this, is just to give it all to God. I can’t change the past, but I can ask God to bless and bring healing to all who are hurting, and to help me to find peace, to forgive myself and to rest in His love.

In this season of anniversaries and sadnesses, I need to bring to Jesus all the loose ends of my life, and ask for the Holy Spirit to disintangle the mess, and to help me refocus, to learn from the past, but to have the courage to start again each day.

Jesus often withdrew from people to find solitude and pray. (Mark 1:35).We might choose to do that in different ways. For me the dawn is one of these sacred moments of peace. It is after the depth of darkness and feelings of fear and overwhelming lament and worry, that the rays of dawn are most welcome. The darkness is dispelled, and light, beauty and love re emerge. In truth, they have been there all along, but were just obscured by circumstances. And so with a lighter heart, the new day reminds us of fresh possibilities for growth and blessing, opportunities to venture out once more.

Gracious God, thank You for the gift of each new day. Help us to treasure it, as our life goes past so quickly. Lord Jesus, we give the past into Your hands, and pray for insight and healing, but help us not to live solely in the sadnesses of the past. Lift us out of the dark pit, and give us a new song to sing, that we might voice a melody of beauty, love and hope. Holy Spirit You know where we are in this moment, our personal histories of joy and sorrow, of trauma and questioning. Bring healing and peace in the way that only You can. And may each morning bring us word of your unfailing love, grace and hope. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Easter hope is real!

It just after Easter Sunday, such a meaningful time in the Christian calendar. We have journeyed with Jesus though days of confusion, betrayal, violence and mocking. We have seen him die on a wooden cross at Golgotha, even though he was innocent of any crime. We have wept over the cruelty and arrogance of humanity.

On that first Easter Sunday, the women went to annoint the body of Jesus in the tomb- an act of devotion and love. They had no expectation of anything other than to mourn and express their sorrow. But when they got there, the stone was rolled away, the tomb empty and they met with their Risen Lord. For Mary, she was so suprised she didn’t even recognise him. But this encounter changed her life- even after the most appalling acts of inhunanity, miracles can happen!

‘He is not here. He has Risen, just as he said.’ Matthew 28;6

We need to hear this message of hope so badly in this world of fake news and greed, of conflict and extremism. Even after the darkest most traumatic day, there can be a beautiful dawn. After acts of cruelty and malice, there can be truth telling, justice and forgiveness. After mourning and pain and tears of lament, there can be possibilities of resurrection.

If we feel lost in the darkness just now, may we even yet have a heart to recognise our Risen Lord in our midst. May we see the compassion in His face for our broken humanity, and his desire to bring redemption and peace in our lives. In this Easter season, may we recognise His message of Hope, that death is not the end, and that if we trust Him then we can be with Him forever, dwelling in His love, safe from harm and completely at peace. This is His promise in this life and for the next, and this brings us a real hope for each day.

Risen Lord Jesus Christ, You know the very worst about humanity, yet You gave your life for our sake, and on Easter morning, You came back to demonstrate the power of Your love, and the strength of your promise. We thank you that death was not the end, and that God breathed His life into You once more. When we are in a dark night of the soul, despairing and afraid, Risen Lord come to us, and may your presence transform our sorrow into joy, our worry into trust. Holy Spirit revive our spirits, that every day we might carry the beauty of your presence and the fragrance of hope.

Healing in holy week.

Holy week is a remarkable time in the Christian calendar, a time when we reflect on the last week of Jesus’ life on earth and beyond. When you read the gospel narratives with fresh eyes, there is so much to take in, times of excitement, the unexpected, of questioning, betrayal, violence, tragedy, and then possibilities of forgiveness and hope. It is a really incredible story, told with so much detail and emotion.

In this season, you want everyone to read the story for themselves ( eg to read Mark chapter 11-14), or to watch a film- Jesus of Nazareth, or even an old classic like Ben Hur. It helps us to not just think about the story, but to imagine what it must have been like.

We think of Palm Sunday, with Jesus coming into Jerusalem on a donkey, the crowds cheering and shouting ‘Hosanna to the king’. During the week, Jesus comes into the temple and rebukes the money changers, overturning their tables, saying ‘ my house will be called a house of prayer for all nations, but you have made it into a den of thieves’. ( Mark 11:17)

We reflect on Maundy Thursday and the last supper, the bread and wine shared with Judas, the one who went out into the night. Then there was the arrest in Gethsemane, the questioning and beating, even though the Roman Govenor Pontius Pilate said that Jesus was innocent, and done nothing wrong.

Good Friday, the crown of thorns, Jesus was too weak to carry his cross to Gethsemane, so Simon of Cyrene was made to carry it for him. Jesus on the cross, the agony, the suffering, the 7 sayings including ‘ Father, forgive them because they do not know what they are doing.’ (Luke 23:34)

Then Jesus breathing his last breath, the women and John standing near by. The centurion saying ‘ Surely this was the Son of God’. Joseph of Arimathea, taking the body and placing it in a tomb nearby.

Holy Saturday- the day of silence.

Early Sunday morning, the women came to anoint Jesus’ body with oil, but the stone was rolled away, and Jesus was Risen, just as he said. And as a consequence of all this, people who trust Him are given the assurance of everlasting life.

If we ever think that Jesus doesn’t understand human suffering, we need to read the Easter story.

If we ever thing we have to be good to follow Jesus, think of the mistakes of Peter, yet forgiveness and grace was shown to him because of the cross.

If we ever despair of this world, we are reminded that out of the darkest places of pain, the new life can emerge.

If we are hurting and worried, we remenber the verse from Isaiah 53:5 ‘by his wounds we are healed’. Through the mercy shown to us on the cross, love flows out, offering us forgiveness and healing and grace, so we can find our peace.

In Holy week, there is so much to take in, the nature of God, the power of His love, the beauty of His undeserved forgiveness. And so we kneel and marvel…

Gracious God, sometimes we feel far from You, we question, we lament- why is the world as it is? Yet in Holy week Lord Jesus, we are reminded that You understand injustice, suffering, pain and betrayal. When you were accused, You kept silent. You gave up Your life, that we might find forgiveness, grace and hope. We are so undeserving, yet You show us such tender love. Holy spirit, come to us this holy week, bring us a clearer understanding, a deeper experience of your love, and a renewed sense of purpose for the future, to share Your message of love and healing with all. Amen

Lent and poetry.

Lent is a time of questioning and reflection- such a meaningful time in the Christian calendar. We think of Jesus in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights, of the temptations he faced in this wilderness time. And we make space to take time out to reflect in prayer and meditation. We pray that God will transform us in the wilderness, and bring us closer to Christ.

There are many bible readings, meditations and Christian apps which give us meaningful tools to help us in our prayer. One resource that perhaps we don’t speak of enough is poetry. There are amazing poets over the centuries, from George Herbert, to John Milton, from Gerald Manley Hopkins to Mary Oliver. Their poems can inspire awe, acknowlege complex emotions, and a deep reverence for God.

When it comes to Lent, the poet I always return to is TS Eliot, the poet who wrote ‘the Wasteland’ in 1922. It is not an easy poet to interpret with all its historical and literary allusions, but it is a poem to feel- it is written after the horrors of the first world war, and capures that feeling of alienation, sorrow and the emptiness of life.

Other poems of TS Eliot are ‘Ash Wednesday’ and ‘The Four Quartets’. ‘Ash Wednesday’ expresses some of the turbulence of faith, but ends with the words ‘And let my cry come unto Thee’. In the Four Quartets, in section V of ‘Little Gidding’ there are the following lines;

‘We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time.’

This seems such a profound description of life- we go on all these adventures, we have the experiences good and bad. And in the end the insights we gain, the things we learn, come full circle, and we see everything in a new light, with fresh perspective.

In the desert, we have the opportunity to walk closely with God, and to let some things go as no longer being as significant as we thought, and to rediscover the power of love, mercy and forgiveness. It was the holy spirit who led Jesus into the desert, and who leads us in our lives to draw closer to Him. Poetry might not be for everyone, but it can be a resource to helps us articulate our struggles, our fears and our doubts, and to know that we are not alone as we do so.

Creator God, we thank You that You are in all things, from the rivers of tranquility and peace, to the dry, harsh heat of the desert. Lord Jesus, we thank you that You bless us with everything we need in season, from times of solace, to times of trial and temptation, and You understand our struggles. When we are questioning or feel alone, send your Holy Spirit to speak to us, though Your Word, though art, poetry and theatre. Remind us that our lives have meaning and value, even when we can’t see it. Whatever we are going though, give us fresh insight, a motivation to live in relationship to You, to pray, and may our cries come unto You.

Playing giant tetris with boxes!

I have been a little quiet recently, as moving house was a tiny bit more stressful than I anticipated. After my painting phase, I have moved onto my redistributing boxes period. Strangely I seem to have more boxes than space. You move one tower of containers from one side of the room to another, only to find that more boxes have mysteriously appeared in their wake. You empty one pile, placing everything in their appropriate place, and you have 7 items for one cupboard, and only 2 for the one beside it. Do you reorganise your labels and definitions? And what do you do with the many miscellaneous items where do they live. Indeed, should they still reside under my roof at all?

This is not the worst problem to encounter in life I admit, but putting things in a manageable order can really help. It is less stressful, more pleasant and good for the soul.

Sometimes it seems important to be organised where possible, to distract us from the lack of control we have in our lives. We want our enviroment to be orderly, so we can pretend that all is well.

Yet in our heart of hearts, we acknowledge the unpredictability of life, of confusion and questionning, of pain and tragedy. There are so many vulnerabilities in our lives- guilt over something from the past, trying to cope responsibly with work pressures, caring for that sick relative. There are things that happen that are unforseen, and which we just couldn’t prepare for.

I remember the verse in 1 Corinthians 14: 33 ‘For God is not a God of disorder but of peace’. This verse is describing worship, but I think it applies to many things. Just as in Genesis, the holy spirit brings form and shape to the chaos and darkness, so God delights in bringing order and peace to our lives. We do need to give the pieces to Him though. So often we try to be independent, to do things in our own strength, working hard to put things in order. God is more gracious to us, than we are to ourselves, and calls us to be guided by Him and to trust. There are still many painful or difficult things in our lives, but knowing that God is our Helper, and that there is hope, makes such a difference.

Gracious God, we stubbornly choose to do things ourselves, working hard, trying our best, seeking to put everything in place. Yet often we dont quite achieve what we hope for. Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on us. We confess that we are ill equipped to work out our lives on our own, and that we need Your help and guidance, that we are dependent on You. Holy Spirit, please bring order and peace out of the chaos of our lives. Help us make space for You to work, and to know that Your ways are so mych higher than ours. Thank you Jesus, Amen.

Watching paint dry!

You often hear people say that something was like ‘watching paint dry’. That usually means it was not very exciting.

In the last week however, I have discovered that watching paint dry is a very compelling activity. I have been painting black walls, and try to make them light colours. Little did I know it would take six coats of paint, and still not be quite right. And one of my learnings has been that a wall can look not bad, till you give it another coat, at which point the wet paint makes it look more streaky than ever. And then every 10 minutes, as you watch it dry, it changes, until 4 hours later it stabilises, and you can decide whether to do the whole process all over again.

Other thing I have learned, do not drip paint in a trail across the floor, as it takes so long to get off. There is a myth that if you put extra paint on your brush, things might be expedited more quickly, but only if all the drops don’t fall on your head. A particular favourite is do not stand on wall paper paste, as then your shoes start sticking to the floor! Remember also to change your painty clothes before you go out, as you look like you have a badly co ordinated multicoloured coat. I do love it though when people look at you and say ‘have you been painting?’.People’s insight knows no limits!

During this process, I have learned a lot about myself. I am so impatient- I so want the paint to dry. I am an optimist- this tme it will look better. I would also rather do these things myself- who wants to share their painting mishaps with other people?

I believe God wants to teach us through all we go through in life. For me, He is teaching me to be more patient, to be a little more realistic, to sometimes invite others to share in small disasters. And to be a bit more cateful when I am painting!

I love the information in Ezekiel chapters 31-4, about all the master craftsmen and artists who worked in metal, wood and jewels to make the ark, furnishings and priestly garments beautiful for God and for a place of worship. There is such care in doing this, and we are told that Bezalel and the others were guided by the Holy Spirit. There is a sense of reverence in making things that are fit for a God of holiness and love.

When we are being creative, in painting, woodwork, or craftsmanship of any kind, we are to dedicate what we are doing to God. We don’t always get to contribute to decorating a place of worship, sometimes it is just our home, but we still want to make our enviroment as cosy and hospitable as we can, with meaningful photos, pictures and colour.

Even watching paint dry, can be part of that process of creativity and design!

Creator God, You created the heavens and the earth, with such a rich variety of shape and form and colour, and formed all creatures, and even human beings made in your image. We are amazed at the ethereal worksmanship of Your hand, the vivid imagination shown in the complexity of all things, from a ladybird to a leopard. Lord Jesus, the Carpenter from Nazareth, may we take every opportinity to design and create exquisite enviroments that reflect your glory, and may your Holy Spirit help us to be innovative in sharing Your love with others in a myriad of ways. May our churches and our homes be places that speak of Your love and reflect your splendour. In Jesus, name, Amen

Under the weather…

Every now and again I get a cold. In the universal scheme of things, it is such a small thing. However it can be debilitating. Having a sore throat, sneezing, coughing and not sleeping is annoying when you are trying to live and get things done. Taking time to rest and heal can be hard.

There are so many things that can throw us off balance, a cold, toothache, indigestion or an insect bite. We know it is just a temporary inconvenience, but it can be so frustrating!

Rather than complaining to the whole world, just small steps in the right direction can help. Taking time out to get the right treatment can be key. Instead of procrastinating, and putting other things first, we take time to make that appointment, and to prioritise our wellbeing. Sometimes we put a medical appointment off hecause we are worried about something, but that makes it especially important to go.

Once we have a diagnosis, and maybe medication, that can help. Then we have to rest. That can mean taking time off work, or trying to get some one else to do the school run. If we feel well enough to do stuff, that’s great. But if we don’t, then asking some one for help can be ok.

If we are not feeling well, then asking for support can be crucial. We don’t always like to admit our vulnerabilities, yet people are often more kind and understandibg than we anticipate. Having some one who makes us tea or brings us soup can be just what is needed. And then when others are unwell, then we have the opportunity to bless them in return.

When we are unwell, or worried about tests coming back, another thing we can do is to ask for prayer. In his life on earth, Jesus often prayed for the sick- the paralysed man (Mark 2:1-12), the woman who was crippled (Luke 13: 10-17), or the person with leprosy (Matthew 8: 1-4). And there was healing of some kind, the person recovered physically, or found comfort and peace. There are so many beautiful examples in all four gospels, which are so worth exploring.

We don’t always understand why prayers are answered in different ways, but to ask for the healing love and light of Jesus to bless a person is always a good thing. And when we feel unwell, we often don’t have the concentration to pray much ourselves. So the gift of prayer is a beautiful way of showing care to others.

When we are less well, we seek medical care and medication, holistic care and encouragement, and the blessing of the nearness of God. We often struggle along by ourselves, but when we seek to bless and care for one another, this helps us to feel seen, to know we are loved, and for us to get better! May we resolve to be a more authentic healing community, courageous enough to ask for help, resolute enough to rest, and always willing to pray for and to be supportive of others.

Gracious God, You are the God of light and grace, the One who loves to bless and heal. As people, we are so broken, struggling with illnesses, big and small, sometimes worn out, at times losing hope. Lord Jesus, you noticed the hurting and the sick, the disillusioned and the rejected, and You stretched out your hand to bless and to heal. Thank you that you understand our struggles, and hear our prayers . Send your holy spirit upon us to bring healing and peace. Bless all those who work in medical settings, and may they have the wisdom, resources and insight they need to always provide the best of care. And as a community, may we always show kindness and patience to all we meet, especially whose who are suffering. In Jesus’ name, Amen

Noticing subtle colours

In recent days, I was privileged to spend time up in the Arctic circle. It was during the 46 days of polar darkness, meaning that the sun did not cross the horizon in these days because the land is so far north. There were some twilight hours however, between 8.30am and 2pm. One of these times was called the blue hour, when the sky and the sea took the hue of deep indigo, contrasting sharply with the white snow coloured landscape- it was a mesmerising time of day, the blue hour was in the morning and in the evening- times of transition.

In the middle period, when snow was not imminent, there were periods of subtle and sublime colours in the sky and reflected on the waters. They were constantly changing, a dozen shades of ethereal pastels- yellow, violet, pink, orange, grey, azure and so many others, shimmering on the horizon. They appeared delicate and fragile, and kept changing in a synchronicty of dance.

Trying to find the words to describe these shades of colours falling on infinite snowy mountains, fjords and numerous islands is beyond language. And it reminded me of the subtlety and nuance of human existence. At its best, nuance is expressed in poetry and theatre, sublety in art and music and literature. It is part of our humanity.

In this often strident and harsh world, where opinions are polarised, and so many fight for survival by stereotyping and demonising their enemy, we need to remember the power and goodness of subtlety and stillness, of quiet prayer and civil discourse. Times of reflection and quietness, help us listen more deeply, to one another, and to God.

Karl Barth famously said ‘ to clasp the hands in prayer is the beginning of an uprising against the disorder of the world.’

We may be quiet in demeanor, but we are not to succumb to hatred and derision. We follow the way of Jesus, calling out what is corrupt or hypocritical with fairness and a concern for the wellbeing of all. We are called to do this, but with the gentleness of a dove, and the wisdom of a serpent. Let us not give up when the rhetoric of bullies is loud and brash, and let us not take up their tactics, however we might be tempted. We follow a Saviour who has already won the victory for the all surpassing transformative power of love, goodness and forgivenes. In society people always disagree, but may we do so with dignity and respect. In every circumstance, may we follow Jesus’ example faithfully, and be empowered by your Holy spirit, to pray and work for a more harmonious and just society.

Gracious God, You are just and loving and kind, You made this earth and her peoples, to live in harmony and peace. Yet we rebel and look after ourselves at the expence of others, we speak with anger and frustration complaining about and shouting at those who think differently. Forgive us for our pride and arrogance.

Lord Jesus forgive our cries of indignation at our own circumstances, and refocus our hearts that we might hear the cry of the poor, the marginalised, the wounded and the despairing. Take away our complacency, soften our hard hearts. May we follow the ways of love to speak with moderation and a quiet wisdom that comes from your spirit, on behalf of the suffering and dispossesed. Let us not become weary but remember that there can be strength in quietness, and wisdom and beauty in regulation and subtlety. Guide us as to how best to pray, and to be salt and light in these days of discord, that we might humbly but clearly be bearers of Your light, Amen

Gentler self talk!

The wintry weather recently has been challenging, but beautiful. Just seeing the snow falling softly on the trees is gorgeous. There’s a quiet hush in the air after a snow fall- all the sound is absorbed, and the world seems still.

I have been reflecting at the beginning of this new year, as to what I should be doing with my life. I ask God to show me, and I am grateful that He has a path and a purpose for me even though I don’t always know exactly what it looks like. I trust God, as I believe He is good, loving, kind and true.

When sitting in God’s presence, what I notice is that He is more loving to me than I am to myself. Sometimes I am so frustrated with all my failings- I want to do better, to be more discerning, to be more effective, more energetic.

And so in this new year, I want to be gentler in how I deal with my failings. We live in such a harsh world just now, pressurised, polarised, full of strident voices. It is easy to be influenced by this, and to also adopt that harsh tone with ourselves and others.

Yet I go back to the words of Jesus in Matthew 11, where He gives that invitation about coming to Him and finding rest. In verse 29 he says: ‘take my yoke upon you, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.’

In the past, I was so rest orientated, that I didn’t notice Jesus saying He is gentle and humble in heart. In another part of Matthew’s gospel, chapter 12:20 it says ‘ a bruised reed He will not break, and a smouldering wick he will not snuff out.’

We are reminded that Jesus deals gently and tenderly with the damaged and the broken, that He sees our hurts and heartache, and ministers to us with humility and kindness.

Jesus has an inner strength, a love and goodness thst reflects the nature of God Himself, yet He sees the value of the small and the wounded, and has a special place for them. He deals with us gently when we are sad or struggling, snd shows us compassion.

We need to learn from Jesus, and be more compassionate to ourselves, to be thankful for the good, to notice the difficult stuff, to ask God to help us to be stronger, or more careful, or more patient, or whatever gift we seek. He knows our needs, and shows us such grace and care. May we love ourselves, as He loves us, and be gentler in our expectations. May we pray.

Father God, sometimes we make the same mistakes over and over again, and we feel that we are trapped in a cycle of despair. In the midst of our frustation with our own limitations, Lord Jesus you look upon us with tenderness, for You are gentle and humble in heart. Under your gaze, we feel seen and loved, we forgive ourselves, and find new patience to accept our failings. We still pray for your Holy Spirit to guide us, and minister to us, but we are patient as we wait, and trust that You are doing a good thing. Thank you Lord, that we can rest, Amen.