Serenity in the sunshine!

When the sun shines, we feel so much better. The colours are brighter and our spirits are lighter. Being out in nature is such a gift, just to be able to move slowly and to notice our surroundings. It can be so peaceful.

In his gorgeous poem ‘ The Prelude’, the romantic poet William Wordsworth speaks of the wonder and beauty of creation. I haven’t read this through for a long time- 1805 or 1850 edition. However some of the ideas have remained with me, especially his concept of ‘spots of time’. There idea is that we experience moments of intensity or harmony which are transcendent or inspirational. These are remarkable not just in the moment, but also when recollected later.

Wordsworth writes; ‘ there are in our existence spots of time, time, which with distinct preeminence retain, a fructifying virtue, whence depressed By trivial occupations and the round, Of ordinary intercourse, our minds- especially the imaginative power- are nourished and invisibly repaired.’

There is so much more, but this concept that moments of stillness and appreciation in nature, can be a salve which restores our jaded spirits, and replenishes our souls and imagination, carries such insight. We feel it deeply.

In many of the psalms, there are also recorded moments of wonder and worship in nature, when there is a purity of experience which nutures and restore. The words in John’s gospel ‘Through Him all things were made’ chapter 1:3 is behind all this, that we have a sense of being in the presence of our Creator, and it brings a deep peace and serenity. In an often busy and strident world, these moments are indeed to be treasured, not just in the moment but when recollection later in life. May these moments indeed bring serenity and peace.

Creator God, in the sunshine we experience moments of connection and tranquility, memories that sustain us even in rainy and dark days. Thankyou Lord Jesus for the love that runs through all things, and which touches our souls. Slow us down, help us to notice our surroundings, to own that we find our grounding in Your being. Forgive our distracted ways, our impatience and the worry that weighs us down. Set us free from our troubles. Holy Spirit in beautiful moments in nature, may we breath deeply, behold Your majesty and rediscover a serenity that heals and restores our souls, in Jesus name, Amen

Connectivity can bring healing….

Sometimes waiting for your broadband to work can seem frustrating to say the least. The light changes to green and orange for no obvious reason, and you are cut off mid sentence, or halfway through a project, pressing the reset button frantically.

There are times when emotionally and spiritually we can feel the same. For numerous reasons, we get cut off, left to work things out by ourselves with God. They can be wilderness times, when the evidence that God is even listening is not apparent.

These times, although they are bewildering and disorientating, serve a purpose, as it is a time to reflect on our inward journey, our identity, our choices. We need to reconnect with ourselves, to forgive mistakes in the past, and to make peace with our present. I believe that this is the work of the Holy Spirit, helping to bring deep healing and a restoration of purpose.

In the very nature of the Trinity, there is loving connection and community. In this fragmented world, God calls us back to Him, just like the Prodigal Son. He wants to restore us, to reconnect us to His Loving purpose and our identity in Him.

I am grateful for every opportunity to connect, with God, His Creation and with others. There can be setbacks and struggles, but I believe God brings much blessing through connection.

At this point I want to say thankyou. Thankyou to friends and family who listen, encourage, pray, laugh and honestly reflect with me. I am so grateful.

I am grateful to Feedspot, for featuring my blog as well- see link

https://bloggers.feedspot.com/christian_healing_blogs/

One of the most beautiful descriptions of connection, is the definition given by John O’Donoghue when speaking of the concept of a soul friend ‘ the anam cara’. He says ‘with the anam cara, you could share your innermost self, your mind and your heart. You are joined in an ancient and eternal way……You are understood without mask or pretension. The superficial and functional lies and half truths of acquaintances fall away. You can be as you really are.’

This is a beautiful descriptions of deep connection, a grounding in the love of God, and gift of connection with another human being, a soul mate. May we all know that precious gift in our lives.

Eternal God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, You are a perfect harmony of relationship and grace, and when you invite us to know You, we discover the meaning of connection and belonging. Thankyou that because of Jesus’ death on the cross, our mistakes and selfishness are forgiven, and our relationship with You is restored, for this is the deep longing of our hearts. Nothing else brings that peace. When we are fearful, broken or alone, remind us of Your healing invitation for restored communion with You, and bring us an anam cara, with who we can share mutual nurture and guidance. Hear our prayer, that our connection with You might be deepened and blessed, in Jesus name, Amen

Swallows and vibrant colours all around….

There has been so much sunshine in May, so far. There are more people smiling, children out playing, people going to the seaside. It has been so lovely. I have seen beautiful blossom, deep green foliage emerging, and even swallows, although they swooped and dived too quickly for me to photograph!

In the midst of the struggles of life, it is good to take a moment, just to notice. Sometimes our cares and worries so overwhelm us, that we have our heads down. I think God calls us gently to lift our heads up, to open our eyes, and to enjoy the beauty of His creation with thankful hearts.

There is an old hymn ‘For the beauty of the earth’ and it contains the words:

‘ For the beauty of the earth, for the beauty of the skies, for the love which from our birth, over and around us lies, Christ, our God, to Thee we raise this our sacrifice of praise.’

On these gorgeous days of blue skies and sunshine, we feel a deep thanksgiving for the beauty around us, but also the gift of health and relationship and stillness. It fills our heart with praise, and gives us a renewed awareness of all that is good. Perhaps we are weary, or have become jaundiced or our hearts are sore. Just taking time to be still, and to pause and to notice the loveliness all around can refresh our souls. May we find that renewal in this season.

Gracious and Eternal God, in these days of sunshine and shade, we remember the Words of psalm 46 ‘to be still and know that You are God’. Around us we see bluebells and yellow broom, azure skies and vibrant blossom. We take time to notice, and to give thanks. Lord Jesus inspire us, to pause, to sink into the landscape, and to find much joy. Holy Spirit, heal what is broken and jaded within us, and may there always be a song of praise on our lips. May the sunshine warm our hearts, and deepen our reverence for all your abundant gifts, Amen

Faith over fear- resurrection!

In the days following Easter Sunday, we have time to reflect on the meaning of it all. In Mark’s gospel in particular, we get a strong sense of the fear surrounding this event. In verse 8 it says that the women were trembling and bewildered, even after their encounter with the Risen Lord Jesus.

If we are honest, maybe we can identify with these feelings. The women who went to the tomb were taking spices to anoint the body, and were grieving and mournful. Yet when they arrived, the stone had been rolled away, and an angel spoke to them, saying that Jesus had risen, and had gone ahead of them into Galilee. They were questioning and unsure and scared. What was going on?

In life, we are perhaps more fearful than we care to admit. We can be scared about stuff from the past catching up with us- wrestling with guilt and shame. Or we might be anxious about what the future might bring- whether waiting for test results, or news about a loved one. And even in the present, we can catastophise about a monster under the bed, or a ringing phone. Life is harsh just now, there is so much complexity and uncertainty. How can we trust in God still being with His people? With us.

In this account, Mark emphasises that the women were bewildered and trembling. They were astounded that the tomb was empty, and an angel had spoken to them. They were on shock. What could this mean? Could it possibly be true? They leave to tell the others, and to travel to Galilee to find out for themselves.

I remember the title of a book by Susan Jeffers ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway.’ I thought it was such a brilliant title. It is acknowledging that it is natural to be scared sometimes. It happens to all of us. What is important is to not let that fear paralyse you, and stop you from doing things. Sometimes you acknowledge that you are worried or anxious or nervous, even when you know it is the right thing, but then can ask God to give you the courage to do it anyway. We learn to trust, like Abram and Sarai leaving home to go to a new land, or Ruth being loyal to her mother in law Naomi, or Daniel in the lion’s den. Whatever our calling, in spite of our fears, may God give us courage to trust Him and to travel in a new direction, for He is faithful.

God of all time and space, when life takes an unexpected turn, keep us focussed on You. Like the women at the tomb, even when we are confused and uncertain, may we obey Your voice. Risen Lord, you told your followers not to be afraid. You even said ‘ Peace be with you.’ Lord Jesus, our hearts are thumping, we are weak at the knees, we are distraught at all that could go wrong. Through the power of Your Holy Spirit, may our faith be greater than our fear, and may we trust Your loving purposes. And so help us to take that next step, in Your Risen power we ask this, Amen.

Betrayal and forgiveness!

Betrayal feels like a very relevant theme just now. In the Easter story, there is a big debate about Judas Iscariot betraying Jesus for 30 pieces of silver. Some think Judas was greedy- that he was in charge of the group’s finances, and wanted more. Others say he was impatient for Jesus to be more political, and thought he would force his hand by getting him arrested. Others note the language- that Jesus was handed over, and that Judas was just playing his part in something much bigger than he knew. Whatever his motivation, to identify Jesus with a kiss, seemed like the ultimate insult.

It has been said that betrayal is so difficult to deal with, because it implies that at some stage in the past there was trust. The theme of betrayal is therefore prominent in books and movies- which depict the pain of realising that some one has let you down. It could happen in a relationship, at work, or in society in general.

Listening to people’s stories, betrayal seems to be a common theme just now. People had hoped for more, amongst their families, their employment, or the government. Things are changing so quickly, that the things that felt familiar in the past are no longer valued. Cut backs, fewer resources, greater stress levels, poor behaviours all contribute to a sense of accelerated change and unfulfilled expectations all around us.

For Jesus, even though he knew Judas would betray him to the authorities, he still included him at the last supper. Jesus said ‘ the hand of him who is going to betray me is either mine at the table.’ Luke 22:21. He knew that Judas would betray him- in Matthew 26: 25 Jesus speaks directly to Judas about it. Yet he still loves him, and serves him along with everyone else. He even washes his feet. And in the agony of the cross, Jesus says ‘ Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing’ Luke 23:34. Forgiveness is offered to all.

We are called to follow Jesus’ example. When some one lets us down or hurts us, we are called to forgive. That does not necessarily mean a restoration of relationship, but that we do not hold a grudge and become bitter. This Easter, as we look to the cross, may we find grace as to how to forgive and also the humility to be forgiven.

Lord Jesus Christ, your heart must have been sore to know that the one you loved would betray you into the hands of the authorities. Even though you knew the worst about Judas, it didn’t stop you loving him. And by your grace You love us, though we let You down so often. Give us hearts to love those who hurt us, and to forgive. We might still need good boundaries. We might need to go our separate ways. But may your Holy Spirit set us free from bitterness and resentments, and enable us to pray for your blessing for that person, and to leave them in your hands. Teach us your ways, for the sake of our Precious Saviour, Amen.

Seven years of lament!

Today it is 7 years since my husband died. I came across to Millport, where as a family we had a lot of marvellous and poignant memories. I am looking at the hills which form the silhouette of ‘the sleeping warrior’. In his better days, Colin used to climb the hills in Arran, and he loved the outdoors, and the Scottish landscape especially.

In recent weeks, I have been privileged to have the opportunity to tell my husband’s story to different groups of people. It has been great to do this, but also profoundly moving. Every time I share, I am reminded of different details, some of which I have tried to forget.

Colin was a veteran, who sustained a head injury in active service, and consequently developed epilepsy, which became progressively degenerative. He was a thoughtful, kind man with a wild sense of humour, but his years of service left him with ptsd symptoms and a sense of injustice at some of the things that had happened to him. He became a Christian, and found solace in God’s presence with him, but at times he was restless and had deep wounds to his soul.

I am so thankful for his life- his love of singing, his writings, his intelligence, his love. But I lament over the depth and length of his suffering, and memories of his frustration and irritation at the things he could no longer do. He served his country, but the consequent cost was all consuming, and impacted all around him.

When I was pondering over this, I was also noticing it was 7 years- years with different emphases- with jumbled patterns of grieving- numbness, despair, hope, grace, frustration, healing. In the Bible the number 7 is often associated with completion and rest, with The 7th day being a day of rest after the creation of all things, and the last book in the Bible Revelation speaking of 7 churches, 7 seals and 7 trumpets. I don’t think my grief is ever going to lessen, but maybe this cycle of grief might be complete, for something else to take its place.

In this new stage, I appreciate honouring Colin’s memory by continuing to tell his story, and to see if there are trajectories for enabling others in similar situations to tell their stories too. I have discovered that it can be challenging but healing to tell your truth. The story of Colin’s life is still available by contacting me directly, or from Amazon or Handsel press- the book about his life is called ‘Love song for a wounded warrior.’

In Mark 5, after the healing of the man disturbed with demons, in verse 19 Jesus says ‘ go and tell your people how much the Lord has done for you, and how he had mercy on you.’ The man went and shared about the difference that Jesus had made in his life.

We often live messy lives, where there have been mistakes, suffering, questions and heartbreak. Yet God is with us in the midst of it, offering forgiveness and abundant healing balm, restoring and strengthening and guiding us. We want to tell the world of such a gracious and caring God. There is still much mystery- many things we will not understand this side of eternity. Yet in the midst of both thanksgiving and lament, we trust- and take opportunities to tell our story. If we encourage just one other person, it is worth it.

Gracious and Eternal God, You are the creator of all things, and the heavens tell forth Your glory. We are grateful for the lives of those who are now in Your nearer presence, who inspire us every day. You have made us in your image- we are letters from Christ, written by the holy spirit, to convey your all encompassing love to others. We are unworthy- our stories are of struggle, of both joy and sorrow. Yet by your grace may our stories touch the soul of others. And may we create more safe places where personal stories might be shared and heard and appreciated. May we bear witness to the precious history of each individual, and pray and hold the space for them, so all can find deeper healing. Give us that desire to listen attentively to both rejoicing and lament, and to love in Your name, Amen.

Standing with David!

Do you ever feel a bit like David? Considering the story from 1 Samuel 17, Goliath is the champion from Gath, who is tall and strong, he has heavy armour, and shouts out for some one from the opposing army to dare to face up to him in combat. He is strong and vocal, and challenges to see if there is anyone who would fight him. He is an imposing presence.

Goliath’s ranting is so intimidating, and no one wants to face him, till a young shepherd boy called David takes him on. He has no armour or fancy sword, no combat training, but he trusts that God will help him, and he vanquishes Goliath.

We can take this stories at different levels, but in our world today, it feels as if it is often the little person who struggles to get heard. It could be the person on hold, trying to get through to the call centre. It could be the person unfairly sanctioned by the benefit system. Or the person who has a true story to tell, but no one seems to care or listen.

We can feel alone and small, a bit like David, fighting for our case against all odds. The obstacles we face in life can seem insurmountable. Sometimes the obstacles are within ourselves- our own fears or worries. But the story reminds us that if we trust God, the impossible can happen. We can see breakthrough, we can find an unlikely ally, or a new way forward. Sometimes something very small can have a powerful impact.

In Luke 1: 37 it says ” nothing is impossible with God.” Instead of noticing all the obstacles to progress, we need to focus on God’s power to bring change for the good. We might have waited a long time, we might feel discouraged or that it doesn’t matter anymore. Yet God notices even the number of hairs on our head, knows the word we will say even before it is upon our lips. He sees every injustice, and can do amazing things. And so we stand with David, and trust God for better days.

God of justice and goodness, You love to see what is right and true done on this earth. Lord Jesus we remember that you wept over the fate of Jerusalem, and the suffering of the people. We see how much is wrong in the earth, when people are cruel or vindictive, when people are greedy and selfish, and that as a result people lose their livelihood, are marginalised or oppressed. Lord Jesus forgive us when we get our armour on to fight back in the same terms as our oppressors. Help us to be as wise as a serpent and as innocent as a dove, to pray and trust and do your will. Holy Spirit, give courage to the oppressed, bring freedom to the enslaved. Soften the heart of the bullies, so they might change their ways. Give us all insight as to how to see your will be done, to do justice, to love mercy and walk humbly with our God, Amen

Ripples of love..

I was watching a tufted duck diving in the pond the other day. When he goes under, he stays under the surface for a while, but the ripples remain, undulating across the surface of the water. They catch the light, and their symmetry is quite mesmerising.

It reminds us that small things can be so powerful. A paper clip, a button, a clasp can all hold things together. A harsh word, a momentary angry look can create tension and discord. Little things matter so much, and can have big consequences.

Noticing these little things can be transformative, as they challenge our daily habits. Instead of getting irritated with that person, who is maybe having a bad day for reasons we can’t even guess, we choose a more gentle approach. Instead of berating ourselves for our many shortcomings, we seek grace to change. Instead of becoming angry and bitter, we choose to forgive. Changes in our daily habits and attitudes, can change the spiritual atmosphere, and open up possibilities for restoration and hope.

In Luke 16;10a in Jesus story of the wise manager he says ‘ whoever can be trusted with small things, can often be trusted with big things.’ If we learn to slow down and pay attention to the details, the way we deal with these can be decisive as to how we deal with bigger issues. And so we pause to notice the significance of little things, and how God can use them to change the world for good or for harm. May we know that every decision we make, changes the world for good or bad, and may we prayerfully take time to choose what is better.

Eternal God, You created the vastness of the heavens and the earth, but also the intricate details of a ladybird and the toes of a baby. You show such a creativity and imagination and goodness in all things, we give thanks and worship You. Lord Jesus, You called attention to the mite put in the collection by the widow, and spoke of the importance of the smallest mustard seed. May we live our lives faithfully, appreciating the small blessings, always grounded in your love, asking your Holy Spirit to guide us that everything we do, both big and small, should speak of your glory. Forgive us when we fail, and may we pray for our lives to spread ripples of love that might touch the lives of others, even without our knowing, Amen

Opening up the windows!

It is the time of year that I really want to open windows and get some fresh air in. That can sound great, but it is rather chilly air, maybe a bit bracing, and on a day like today pretty gusty as well. Getting a through stream of air through a room however is refreshing, and brings a certain vitality.

You don’t realise that when there is poor ventilation, that the air gets stale and heavy. It can cause a heaviness of being, and listlessness, even cause allergies or poor sleep. Fresh air as they say, sweeps out the cobwebs.

Sometimes our souls need spiritual fresh air. We have been doing the same things for so long, our habits have become a dull routine rather than a life giving practice. It is easy for life to become a mundane trudge of just surviving.

I believe that God wants to refresh our souls. The holy spirit at Pentecost is described as a violent wind. When Jesus encountered Nicodemus in John chapter 3, it says in verse 8: ‘ the wind blows where it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the spirit.’

We really need the strong breeze of the holy spirit to blow away what is old and stale, and to bring new life and energy. In this season of Lent, we pray that God would disentangle us from bad attitudes, destructive habits, acceptance of an unhealthy status quo. We pray for discernment for what needs to be let go of, and what needs to be embraced- new ways forward that are life giving and enriching. In the desert, Jesus was tempted but at the end the angels came and attended him, and he was prepared for his years of ministry. Sometimes there is a stripping away of superficial things, but then new possibilities can emerge. In this period of Lent, may God helps us welcome the new creativity and inspiration of the Holy Spirit.

Gracious God, despite our best efforts, at times we get stuck in a rut, we are going through the motions, but life feels discouraging and stale. We confess our helplessness and our our wrongdoing, the way we have hurt others, and we beseech You for cleansing. Then Lord Jesus, You send the Holy Spirit to breath life into us. Wind of the Holy Spirit fall afresh upon us, upon Your people, upon this world. In this time of Lent may we not settle for bland compromises that please no one, but seek to honour Your name by loving truly and deeply, with integrity and generosity. Open the windows of our soul, stir us up, help us see the world through Your eyes, and to show radical grace and mercy to all. In Jesus’ name, Amen

Encounters with the divine in Barcelona!

As part of my healing journey, I am privileged to travel. Even in days of difficult international news, travelling reminds me that there is still a beautiful world out there, rich in love and creativity.

I am spending some time in Barcelona, which is so inspiring. I have visited The Sagrada Familia, one of Gaudi’s most amazing works, a basilica very much inspired by his Catholic faith. It is commonly known as ‘ the cathedral of light’ and is a stunningly beautiful place of worship, inspired by sunlight, by the natural lines and colours of creation and a deep reverence for Jesus Christ. The towers, the carvings of the gospels stories, and the intricate carvings of animals and flowers make it a place to keep going back to. Even in the midst of enormous crowds, it is possible to find quiet moments of awe and wonder and worship.

Another day I went to the Santa Maria de Montserrat monastery. This is up in the

Pyrenees mountains, a village built round a Benedictine monastery- described as a place of encounter and prayer. The monastery was founded in 1025. The location itself was breathtaking with the famous serrated edged mountains as the backdrop.

It was a deeply spiritual time, being in such a distinctive mountain area, and a place of prayer and worship. There is a beautiful story of Ignatius of Loyola’s time here in 1522, and his encounter with God, which was decisive in his decision to leave his old life behind, and then go to Manresa, where he felt called to a new spiritual path. This came about through a time prayer in the basilica, and reminds us of how God can work powerfully through the power of prayer, to change the direction of our lives.

In 1 Thessalonians 5:16 it says ‘pray without ceasing’. Whether we are in the most amazing church, high in a mountain retreat, or sitting in the house, God calls us to pray, and to spend time in His loving presence. This is a glorious invitation, to meet with Him, to find forgiveness for the things that trouble our souls, and to find new direction and purpose for our lives. May we be open to that encounter with God wherever we might be.

Gracious God, You delight when your children choose to spend time with You. Forgive us that we get so easily distracted, and postpone coming into your presence. You welcome us like the best parent, eyes filled with love and mercy. Lord Jesus, Your love brings us acceptance and grace. You forgive us our sin and bring us peace. You inspire us with Your glory and purity, and your Holy Spirit speaks to us of a new path ahead, for which You equip us so meaningfully and generously. Help us to surrender to You, and trust Your call, in Jesus name, Amen.