Ripples of love..

I was watching a tufted duck diving in the pond the other day. When he goes under, he stays under the surface for a while, but the ripples remain, undulating across the surface of the water. They catch the light, and their symmetry is quite mesmerising.

It reminds us that small things can be so powerful. A paper clip, a button, a clasp can all hold things together. A harsh word, a momentary angry look can create tension and discord. Little things matter so much, and can have big consequences.

Noticing these little things can be transformative, as they challenge our daily habits. Instead of getting irritated with that person, who is maybe having a bad day for reasons we can’t even guess, we choose a more gentle approach. Instead of berating ourselves for our many shortcomings, we seek grace to change. Instead of becoming angry and bitter, we choose to forgive. Changes in our daily habits and attitudes, can change the spiritual atmosphere, and open up possibilities for restoration and hope.

In Luke 16;10a in Jesus story of the wise manager he says ‘ whoever can be trusted with small things, can often be trusted with big things.’ If we learn to slow down and pay attention to the details, the way we deal with these can be decisive as to how we deal with bigger issues. And so we pause to notice the significance of little things, and how God can use them to change the world for good or for harm. May we know that every decision we make, changes the world for good or bad, and may we prayerfully take time to choose what is better.

Eternal God, You created the vastness of the heavens and the earth, but also the intricate details of a ladybird and the toes of a baby. You show such a creativity and imagination and goodness in all things, we give thanks and worship You. Lord Jesus, You called attention to the mite put in the collection by the widow, and spoke of the importance of the smallest mustard seed. May we live our lives faithfully, appreciating the small blessings, always grounded in your love, asking your Holy Spirit to guide us that everything we do, both big and small, should speak of your glory. Forgive us when we fail, and may we pray for our lives to spread ripples of love that might touch the lives of others, even without our knowing, Amen

Opening up the windows!

It is the time of year that I really want to open windows and get some fresh air in. That can sound great, but it is rather chilly air, maybe a bit bracing, and on a day like today pretty gusty as well. Getting a through stream of air through a room however is refreshing, and brings a certain vitality.

You don’t realise that when there is poor ventilation, that the air gets stale and heavy. It can cause a heaviness of being, and listlessness, even cause allergies or poor sleep. Fresh air as they say, sweeps out the cobwebs.

Sometimes our souls need spiritual fresh air. We have been doing the same things for so long, our habits have become a dull routine rather than a life giving practice. It is easy for life to become a mundane trudge of just surviving.

I believe that God wants to refresh our souls. The holy spirit at Pentecost is described as a violent wind. When Jesus encountered Nicodemus in John chapter 3, it says in verse 8: ‘ the wind blows where it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the spirit.’

We really need the strong breeze of the holy spirit to blow away what is old and stale, and to bring new life and energy. In this season of Lent, we pray that God would disentangle us from bad attitudes, destructive habits, acceptance of an unhealthy status quo. We pray for discernment for what needs to be let go of, and what needs to be embraced- new ways forward that are life giving and enriching. In the desert, Jesus was tempted but at the end the angels came and attended him, and he was prepared for his years of ministry. Sometimes there is a stripping away of superficial things, but then new possibilities can emerge. In this period of Lent, may God helps us welcome the new creativity and inspiration of the Holy Spirit.

Gracious God, despite our best efforts, at times we get stuck in a rut, we are going through the motions, but life feels discouraging and stale. We confess our helplessness and our our wrongdoing, the way we have hurt others, and we beseech You for cleansing. Then Lord Jesus, You send the Holy Spirit to breath life into us. Wind of the Holy Spirit fall afresh upon us, upon Your people, upon this world. In this time of Lent may we not settle for bland compromises that please no one, but seek to honour Your name by loving truly and deeply, with integrity and generosity. Open the windows of our soul, stir us up, help us see the world through Your eyes, and to show radical grace and mercy to all. In Jesus’ name, Amen

Encounters with the divine in Barcelona!

As part of my healing journey, I am privileged to travel. Even in days of difficult international news, travelling reminds me that there is still a beautiful world out there, rich in love and creativity.

I am spending some time in Barcelona, which is so inspiring. I have visited The Sagrada Familia, one of Gaudi’s most amazing works, a basilica very much inspired by his Catholic faith. It is commonly known as ‘ the cathedral of light’ and is a stunningly beautiful place of worship, inspired by sunlight, by the natural lines and colours of creation and a deep reverence for Jesus Christ. The towers, the carvings of the gospels stories, and the intricate carvings of animals and flowers make it a place to keep going back to. Even in the midst of enormous crowds, it is possible to find quiet moments of awe and wonder and worship.

Another day I went to the Santa Maria de Montserrat monastery. This is up in the

Pyrenees mountains, a village built round a Benedictine monastery- described as a place of encounter and prayer. The monastery was founded in 1025. The location itself was breathtaking with the famous serrated edged mountains as the backdrop.

It was a deeply spiritual time, being in such a distinctive mountain area, and a place of prayer and worship. There is a beautiful story of Ignatius of Loyola’s time here in 1522, and his encounter with God, which was decisive in his decision to leave his old life behind, and then go to Manresa, where he felt called to a new spiritual path. This came about through a time prayer in the basilica, and reminds us of how God can work powerfully through the power of prayer, to change the direction of our lives.

In 1 Thessalonians 5:16 it says ‘pray without ceasing’. Whether we are in the most amazing church, high in a mountain retreat, or sitting in the house, God calls us to pray, and to spend time in His loving presence. This is a glorious invitation, to meet with Him, to find forgiveness for the things that trouble our souls, and to find new direction and purpose for our lives. May we be open to that encounter with God wherever we might be.

Gracious God, You delight when your children choose to spend time with You. Forgive us that we get so easily distracted, and postpone coming into your presence. You welcome us like the best parent, eyes filled with love and mercy. Lord Jesus, Your love brings us acceptance and grace. You forgive us our sin and bring us peace. You inspire us with Your glory and purity, and your Holy Spirit speaks to us of a new path ahead, for which You equip us so meaningfully and generously. Help us to surrender to You, and trust Your call, in Jesus name, Amen.

Thoughts in the night.

I have been struggling with jet lag recently, and so have often been unable to sleep. It is amazing the thoughts thst come into your mind in the middle of the night. There is something about the darkness that brings out the worst in our soul. If you can think positively in the day time, in the darkness that perspective seems to evaporate.

Instead, the temptation is to let negative thoughts take over. We mull over regrets- could we have handled that differently, what if we had thought of it like this? And all the worries we kept at bay during the day time start to multiply- what if this happens, or that goes wrong, or that plan does not work out. Catastophising, spiralling- it all gets worse in the small hours of the morning. (and can be much exacerbated by mindlessly scrolling to boot!).

So what do we do? We can pray- just offer all the mess to God and say help! A helpful prayer could be ‘ Please help me remember my reliance is on You for all things, and set me free from the burden of trying to work it all out.’ If there are particular worries on our minds- health, relationships, work, finance- we give it over to God. We can do some things ourselves to make things better, but we also need to acknowledge out limitations, the things over which we have no control.

If we first give our worries over to God, then we secondly try to focus on things that can bring hope. Maybe you have a lovely playlist of music you listen to, which can be soothing. Or a favourite bible verse that you repeat again and again till it sinks into your soul. Sometimes people get up and make tea, or watch a comedy for a while and then try to go back to bed. Or you can try lavender on your pillow, or listen to a sleep app bedtime story. Sometimes we just rest, even when we cannot sleep.

I remember the story of Jacob wrestling with God in the night in Genesis 32. It is portrayed as physical wrestling, and by morning Jacobs hip is broken but he finds peace with God, and feels blessed by Him. We can be wrestling too- with regrets, anxieties and worries. Yet sometimes it is non productive, and we get stuck. So we ask God to forgive us for our past mistakes because of Jesus Christ, and pray for new beginnings through the holy spirit. Our prayer might not be answered in an obvious way, but even just to get into the habit of giving our cares snd worries to God, makes a difference in itself. Even in the night, may we know that God is with us.

In another encounter with God, in Genesis 28, Jacob says ‘surely God is in this place, and I was not aware of it.’ Even in the darkest moments, may God’s presence bring hope.

Eternal God of the day and of the night, of the dusk and of the dawn, may we entrust our lives into your care in every hour. In the night, we can feel alone, our fears get the better of us, and we can become desolate and dispirited. Rather than loose ourselves in negative spirals, may we turn our faces to You and shout help. Lord Jesus, when Peter was disappearing under the waves, he cried to You, and immediately You stretched out your arm to Him and saved him. Thankyou Lord, that You hear our cry too, and save us, even from that dark part of ourselves. Holy Spirit, in the midst of our wrestling, remind us of love and light and hope, and bring us to the morning, transformed and blessed. May the light bring perspective and possibilities for renewed trust and strength for each day, in Jesus name, Amen

After the fire…

When I was visiting Jasper last week, the impact of the recent fire of July 2024 was very much in evidence. The fire last summer caused the town to be evacuated, and burned 32,000 hectares of forest. It was an upsetting sight to see the charred remains of the trees, looking like broken spindly sticks against the snowy landscape. The fires started because of lightning strikes, and spread quickly.

Locals are worried that tourists won’t come because of the damage, but I would encourage everyone to visit Jasper. It is still stunningly beautiful, and visiting brings money into the area and encourages the recovery of the local economy.

One of the local people told us stories about the fire, and the heroism of local people who helped evacuate people to places of safety. He also explained about the regeneration that can happen in a forest even after a devastating fire. There are of course different circumstances dependent on topography and wind direction etc. But even after the worst fire, regeneration gradually begins.

The charred remains of the trees, the ash, brings nutrients to the soil. Hardy grasses stabilise the soil, and many of the trees self seed. Gradually the process of ‘succession’ the recovery of the forest takes place. It can take a long time, but new growth of various types begins to emerge.

I found the symbolism of this to be deeply moving. Seeing the hectares of charred tree skeletons was awful, but even in this bleak landscape, somewhere down below, seeds are germinating and trees resprouting.

Sometimes our lives can feel devastated by some tragic event or difficult news. It can be catastrophic, like everything has burnt to ashes, and we are deeply disheartened. But it is good to remember that even after the worst disaster, new life can emerge, even just the tiniest green leaf. We just need to be patient.

In the Bible in Isaiah chapter 61 verse 3, God speaks of bestowing on His people ‘ a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, a garment of praise instead of despair.’ Tbis is a wonderful promise of hope for those who feel their life is bleak or irrevocably damaged. Times of lament and darkness are real, but they do not last forever. Beauty can come from a heap of ashes, thanksgiving and praise after the darkest human experiences. Even after the fire, new possibilities for growth can emerge.

Eternal Father, You are our Creator, and You alone know the end from the beginning. We despair over all the disasters in our world, the devastation and pain. The landscape can be heavy and bleak. Lord Jesus You came to bring forgiveness, the promise of resurrection and new beginnings. Help us place our trust in You. Even after experiences of trauma and loss, may we notice evidence of greening and small seeds of hope sprouting around us. Holy Spirit, may we believe that there can be beauty out of ashes, and we pray and work for this. For seeing your love and beauty touch and transform peoples lives, and indeed this whole world is the yearning of our heart. In Jesus name, Amen.

Tears in the lift!

Invictus Games at Vancouver and Whistler.

I was staying in a hotel in Vancouver last week, and there started to appear a number of people with fluorescent yellow jackets. Emblazoned across the front of these jackets, it said Invictus. I started talking to one of the girls in the lobby, and she was a helper with the Invictus games that were just about to be held. As the days went on, I realised that the hotel was one of the sites where a number of international teams were living. I met them in the gym, the lobby and the lift. Many of them were in wheelchairs or had prosthetic limbs.

I am just learning about the Invictus games. They are international, this year with 23 countries represented. They were started in 2014 by Prince Harry and others, as a way of supporting wounded, injured or sick military personnel and veterans, through sports activities to promote recovery.

I was in the lift, when a veteran came in from a country I had a particular sympathy with. I manage to splurge out a few haphazard words, which did not ask for a reply. I just looked at his eyes just for a moment, and his eyes held such unimaginable pain and darkness, that I started to cry. He looked away, and I didn’t want to make it worse, so I didn’t say anything else. Eventually after that felt like an eternity, the lift doors opened and he left.

I haven’t been able to get him out of my head. The silent anguish in his eyes pierced my soul. He just looked as if he had been through so much. I know some veterans make good progress, and heal from their physical and emotional wounds, and i am thankful for that. But I am also aware of the number who really struggle, and who wonder if they will ever heal from the pain, the traumatic memories and the nightmares.

I am not a pacifist- I realise that there can be times when physical conflict can be the lesser of two evils. However there are so many questions about how we as a society treat those who fight for their country, to defend others or maintain the peace. How do we prepare people for conflict? How do we support their families? And how do we support those who come back feeling broken and betrayed because of what they had seen and done, who are questioning and have lost any sense of self. The ptsd symptoms and moral injury can be deeply disturbing and long lasting. We are still learning how to support those who struggle, with the therapeutic resources and physical and pastoral needed for veterans and their families.

These tears in the lift were significant because God used them to remind me of the pain and anguish of those who have served, and the horrendous scars, visible and invisible of our vetean community. It can leave us feeling helpless and ashamed at how little we can do.

And yet, confronted with the darkness of human violence and brutality, we start by noticing, and making space to ask difficult questions. When we don’t know ehat to do, we pray and ask God to show us how to proceed. I love Karl Barth’s quotation ‘ to clasp the hands in prayer is the beginning of an uprising against the disorder of the world’.

Noticing the pain of the human condition, however uncomfortable, motivates me to look to God for answers. We persevere in prayer. We see if there are opportunities to act, to support that neighbour who is a veteran, or that person at work, or the person in the homeless shelter. Sometimes we have the capacity to engage personally, to listen attentively and compassionately. At other times we support from a distance, by supporting a veterans charity financially or as a volunteer.

When faced with a suffering soul, I don’t believe that we should pretend not to have seen. As a society, I believe that we have a moral imperative to support our veteran community in effective and compassionate ways, open to learning from what they feel is most effective. May God show us how to do this.

Lord Jesus, You wept over the suffering of Jerusalem. You foresaw the destruction and carnage there, and you wanted to gather the people into a safe place, like a hen gathering her chicks under her wings but they would not have it. Eternal Father, how You must lament over our human sin and rebellion- where humanity chooses to slaughter each other over a piece of land or money or political advantage. People in power often seem to start such conflict casually, and those who serve, those whose homes are bombed and become refugees are seen as an inconvenience. Holy Spirit, help us follow the ways of our God, the teachings of Jesus. Especially this day, we ask for your blessing on gatherings like the Invictus games, and we pray that there would be an abundance of courage, connection and healing that is miraculous. May the devastating consequences of conflict inspire us to be peace makers wherever possible, and to treat with special tenderness those whose eyes are dull with raw pain and sadness. In Jesus’ healing and powerful name, Amen.

The train ride!

There are times in your life when you want to try something different. As part of my adventure in Canada, I thought it would be a good idea to go for a train ride through the Rockies. My idea was that there would be lovely food, and an inspiring time in the observation lounge admiring the dramatic craggy rock formation and bright stars at night. A once in a life time trip.

I was a bit near the time getting my ticket, so I was to be in a recliner seat for the 20 hour journey. No bother I thought, it would be worth it for the experience. How hard could it be?

It all started off well. I was at the station early, I had a coffee and bought snacks. I got on the train at the end of a very long platform. I had some food, the staff were lovely, and I sat in the very quiet observation carriage and took a few photos of the snow covered landscape in the soft dwindling light.

It was dark, and I went back to my reclining seat. It was noisy in the carriage and a toddler was crying angrily. I had no WiFi. The night continued. The train kept stopping in the middle of nowhere for no apparent reason. It was still noisy and my book seemed a rather ambitious read. I tried to find a comfortable position, but I always seemed to be tangled up and sore, and at times I slid right off the seat. Sleep remained elusive. Closing my eyes was all i could manage. At 2am we had a stop, at what looked like a freight station and the conductor announced that we could get off to stretch out legs. I was not doing that- I might miss getting back on the train in the night and be wondering round thousands of freight containers for the rest of my life.

I am not going to lie, there were some weary and uncomfortable hours, when I thought why did I ever think this was a good idea?

And then after about 5am, I found a new rhythm. I decided to pray for friends, and family and the world. The woowoo of the train became comforting, the rocking motion reminded me of being held in a cradle. God transformed the things that were annoying me, and helped me come to terms with them.

I tell this story because often life follows this pattern. We are excited about doing something new. It goes well for a while, but then we hit a setback, and we are disorientated and discouraged. We question.

I think the thing that helps is that when we are doing something different or learning something new, it is good to remember that it is natural to have darker moments. Things are seldom exactly as we hope. But in these moments, we are not to give up, but to ask God to help us adapt, to find new insight, to refocus on the good.

Eventually on my train ride the morning light came. My eyes still felt as if they were on match sticks, and I was still exhausted. But I had a coffee, my energy returned, and I had a sense of achievement. I had survived a 20 hour train ride in the Rockies, and it had been good. At the end of it all, I saw new unimaginable things and arrived in a new place. It was all worthwhile.

Gracious God, at times we can be in danger of being stuck in a rut and so we try new things. We start off full of enthusiasm, bright eyed and bushy tailed. But then things are different from how we anticipate, we get tired and it is tempting to despair. Lord Jesus, thankyou that when we look to You, that You can transform our situation. Holy Spirit remind us of all that is good, help us to see the funny side of things, to accept setbacks, and to pray they might only be temporary. Keep all those who travel safe this day, and may the kindness of strangers always surprise. May setbacks never deter us from trying something new, and may we have courage to be pioneers even when it can feel daunting. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Deep calls to deep…

I have been so privileged to be able to travel recently. Travel reminds me there is a big beautiful world out there, and helps give me a sense of perspective. I have met so many fascinating people along the way, people who share their stories and something of themselves.

At the weekend I went to Niagara falls, and I stood for ages just mesmerised by the powerful and noisy rush of water cascading over the edge of the precipice. It was so loud, and carried such force with it. And when you looked at the water, it was a myriad of colours blue, turquoise, green, grey, white. I felt almost hypnotised by the scale and majesty of it all- it felt quite ethereal.

It reminded me of the psalmist, in Psalm 42 verse 7 where the psalmist says ‘ Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls, all your waves and breakers have sweet over me.’

The psalmist is lamenting, remembering a better past, and his soul is longing for God like a deer longing for water. And beside this waterfall, he experiences the presence of God, and he chooses to put his hope in God once more, and to praise Him once more.

May we all have waterfall experiences, where that deep connection with God is restored. It cannot always be put into words, but it is like the love and mercy of God cascading over us, cleansing and refreshing and reviving our soul. And that is the very thing we need the most.

Gracious God, our lives can be out of kilter, alienated from ourselves and from others, and we cry to You for help. Thankyou that You hear our cry of longing and pleading even from the darkest place We lament over the things that are lost, and listen for your response. And in the sound of the waterfall, powerful and melodic, we hear Your voice. In Christ Jesus, You restore us to Yourself, bringing that deep reconciliation and integration that we need. In your presence, the Holy Spirit recreate us in the image of God, so we are free to be our true selves, loved, purposeful and at peace. And when we get stuck again, which we always will, may Your love reconnect us, and bless and replenish our souls. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Brilliant frosting and silver swirls!

I know I need to have an ethical problem with flying because of global warming. I believe that we shouldn’t fly when we don’t need to, and we need to offset emissions.

Yet here I am going on holiday on a plane. I have a window seat, which doesn’t happen very often. I love looking out at the bright white dramatic cloud landscapes of mountains and precipices. You can imagine a whole world of characters and stories playing out in this pristine world.

Often the view out a window is just of non- descript clouds, a relentless, monotonous grey. And then another few hundred miles on there is a break in the clouds and you can just catch a glimpse of the seahorses playing in the sea below. On this trip, I think somewhere over Greenland, I saw some amazingly beautifully swirly ice formations! They were so stunning in form, just perfect. And I had a immense sense of awe at the vastness and brilliance of creation. Nobody else might have witnessed it (apart from the others on the flight). But it was perfect.

It is strangely reassuring that God creates such amazing vistas- whether ice mountains, or Brazilian forests or coral reefs and ecosystems in the ocean, even when no one might ever witness their exquisite beauty. It is a reminder that things matter, even when they are not seen. Now and again we stumble into an unexpected place, and catch a glimpse of glory, and we realise that we stand in the presence of God. No more words are required, for we just marvel.

In the book of Job chapter 38, God asks Job if he understands Him- if he has knowledge of the storehouses of snow, of the origin of lightning bolts and the constellations in the sky, which all point to the creativity and splendour of God. In response, Job humbles himself, and his faith is rekindled.

Eternal Father, like Job, we are so privileged to glimpse eternal vistas of eternity, and to realise the staggering gorgeous nature of the universe that speaks of Your glory, and to recognise our own finite nature anew. Lord Jesus- in You we see the very nature of God, for You speak the Words of eternal life, of love and strength and forgiveness and courage. May Your words encourage us never to give up, and for our wills to always be aligned with your will. Holy Spirit, thankyou for the reminder that what is unseen is eternal- whether the stars on an inky winter’s night, or acts of kindness and mercy. May we be reminded that nothing spiritual is wasted, even when it is unseen, and so may our lives also always bring glory to You.

There is always a place for you at the table….

One of the many things I love about Jesus was how often he chose to spend time with people, at a wedding, talking to people on hills in Galilee or the streets of Jerusalem. He engaged with everyone, teaching, challenging and bringing healing. He often asked questions and made people think. He wanted to bring the ways of heaven to earth. He went to the home of the tax collectors, spoke with the prostitute and those who were sick. He had time for everyone.

Our society is fragmented just now. Many people are lonely and scared, wondering who they are and what their purpose it. Since covid, we all seem to have grown further apart, alienated from one another. We got used to being alone.

Jesus often ate with people, with his disciples, friends and anyone around. He treated each person with dignity and respect. He welcomed people and showed them love.

If you are feeling a bit low today, or missing a loved one, or just out of sorts, please know how much you are loved. I believe that Jesus welcomed everyone, from the smallest child to the woman with a difficult story. He sees us, He welcomes us to the table and says ‘ there is a place for you.’. We are seen, cherished, loved.

It is hard to find our way in the world just now. Too many people wrestle with self doubt, with dark memories, with pride or shame or guilt. We wonder what is our life about. May we place our trust in our God who loves us. Even if we have faith just the size of a grain of mustard, that is enough. May we each know the welcome and grace of our God.

In Luke 14: 12-24- Jesus spoke of a banquet, where the people to be invited were the poor, the crippled, the lame and the blind. The idea was that no one was to be missed out, and everyone welcomed. May we take this to heart, and also seek to show hospitality to others, in the same way as God welcomes us.

Gracious God, there are times in our lives when we can feel cut off from others, questioning our worth, feeling invisible. Thankyou Lord Jesus, that You always see us, and make a space for us at your table. We come not on merit, but because of your grace. We are humbled and deeply grateful that You see and welcome us even when we do not deserve it. Holy Spirit help us to realise the meaning of your grace deep in our souls, and to know we always have somewhere we belong with You. Thankyou Lord.