Tag: finding meaning

Thoughts in the night.

Not sleeping!

I have been struggling with jet lag recently, and so have often been unable to sleep. It is amazing the thoughts thst come into your mind in the middle of the night. There is something about the darkness that brings out the worst in our soul. If you can think positively in the day time, in the darkness that perspective seems to evaporate.

Instead, the temptation is to let negative thoughts take over. We mull over regrets- could we have handled that differently, what if we had thought of it like this? And all the worries we kept at bay during the day time start to multiply- what if this happens, or that goes wrong, or that plan does not work out. Catastophising, spiralling- it all gets worse in the small hours of the morning. (and can be much exacerbated by mindlessly scrolling to boot!).

So what do we do? We can pray- just offer all the mess to God and say help! A helpful prayer could be ‘ Please help me remember my reliance is on You for all things, and set me free from the burden of trying to work it all out.’ If there are particular worries on our minds- health, relationships, work, finance- we give it over to God. We can do some things ourselves to make things better,  but we also need to acknowledge out limitations, the things over which we have no control.

If we first give our worries over to God, then we secondly try to focus on things that can bring hope. Maybe you have a lovely playlist of music you listen to, which can be soothing. Or a favourite bible verse that you repeat again and again till it sinks into your soul. Sometimes people get up and make tea, or watch a comedy for a while and then try to go back to bed. Or you  can try lavender on your pillow, or listen to a sleep app bedtime story. Sometimes we just rest, even when we cannot sleep.

I remember the story of Jacob wrestling with God in the night in  Genesis 32. It is portrayed as physical wrestling, and by morning Jacobs hip is broken but he finds peace with God, and feels blessed by Him. We can be wrestling too- with regrets, anxieties and worries. Yet sometimes it is non productive, and we get stuck. So we ask God to forgive us for our past mistakes because of Jesus Christ, and pray for new beginnings through the holy spirit. Our prayer might not be answered in an obvious way, but even just to get into the habit of giving our cares snd worries to God, makes a difference in itself. Even in the night, may we know that God is with us.

In another encounter with God, in Genesis 28,  Jacob says ‘surely God is in this place, and I was not aware of it.’ Even in the darkest moments, may God’s presence bring hope.

Eternal God of the day and of the night, of the dusk and of the dawn, may we entrust our lives into your care in every hour. In the night, we can feel alone, our fears get the better of us, and we can become desolate and dispirited. Rather than loose ourselves in negative spirals, may we turn our faces to You and shout help. Lord Jesus, when Peter was disappearing under the waves, he cried to You, and immediately You stretched out your arm to Him and saved him. Thankyou Lord, that You hear our cry too, and save us, even from that dark part of ourselves. Holy Spirit, in the midst of our wrestling, remind us of love and light and hope, and bring us to the morning, transformed and blessed. May the light bring perspective and possibilities for renewed trust and strength for each day, in Jesus name, Amen

After the rain……

Black clouds and then ethereal beauty.

I was fortunate enough to be away for a few days up north. I so appreciated the change from the normal frantic pace of life, to a time of space and light and rest. I was so blessed. The weather was often amazing, but there was a particular day when you could see the black clouds gathering up ahead. There was nothing I could do, but wait for the inevitable rain. The deluge was heavy and torrential and the puddles deep.

However, after the rain, it was magical. There is a softness in the light, and the whole of creation seems to be coated with a reflective shimmer, that adds brilliance to all things. It was magnificent.

Often we question why there is so much suffering in the world, so much heartache and pain. There are no easy answers to these profound wrestlings about meaning and purpose.

Yet often on our journey, we find that after the rain and the sorrow, we develop a patience and a softness to us, that we have learned in the midst of trauma and sadness. We learn what is important, and what really doesn’t matter at all.

The temptation when skies are dark, is to become overwhelmed, to doubt, to become full of self pity or resentment. Why has God allowed this to happen, we shout.

Yet, even in the darkest and coldest experiences, we discover the tender presence of Jesus alongside us, we find a flicker of light, an act of kindness that brings comfort and a deep sense of connection. And these moments transform all things, and help us trust that God is still good.

I was thinking of the verse from Leviticus 26:4 ‘ I will send you rain in season, and the ground will yield its crops, and the trees their fruit.’ Even the rain has a purpose, and can bring new life and growth.

Creator God, You have created a beautiful world of light and shadow, rain and sunshine, heat and cold. Every experience can have significance and purpose, and we learn from each one. Lord Jesus, you teach us that after the most terrifying storm, can come peace, and that after rain can come a deep calm and serenity. Whatever adversity we have faced, or are facing, may your holy spirit help us to find a deeper insight and new perspective, which brings us wisdom which we can share with others, and draws us closer to You, Amen.