Tag: lamenting

Downsizing- the need to ask for help?

An abundance of chaos!

At the moment I am getting ready to move, and I need to downsize. I have discovered that I seem to have previously unrecognised hoarding tendencies, and also a plethora of items from other family members. My worst vice is buying books, often second hand, with an eye for a bargain, and a promise to myself that I will read it later. This great love of literature has not worked well for me in practice, for I have so many bookcases of wonderful but unread books. The challenge is now to release them back into the universe. It is so tempting to put these books into the box for the charity shop, and two minutes later sneak them back on the shelf. No wonder downsizing is slow work.

I think I need to become more ruthless in this regard. When I find a box of old photos, it is easy to become completely distracted and look at each one. I obviously haven’t sorted them before judging by the ones with thumbs over the lens, blurry ones, and ones I have no idea of where the grey landscape actually is.

The thing that really strikes me is that I have far too much stuff. The objects I want to keep are practical, or have sentimental significance, or are beautiful, but many things I have just casually accumulated, and need to be released. Some you hope will bless others, but some just need to go in the bin!

I am finding it exhausting- emotionally and physically and spiritually. There are times when I have even needed to ask for help. Trying to sort everything has been so overwhelming, people to help sort, wrap or take things away are invaluable. I am indebted to declutterers and friends who have supported me in this process. At times I prefer to be independent, and I have to learn again and again it is ok to ask for some one to help me work things out. A lesson for the whole of life, that in any healthy community, there are seasons for us to both give and receive, and that is ok.

A verse that is speaking to me a lot just now is that “God is not a God of disorder but of peace.” 1 Corinthians 14:33. From the beginning of creation, God loves to bring form and beauty out of nothing. Out of the darkness, the holy spirit brings life and  harmony and peace. In a way, clearing the clutter and letting things go, seems to mirror the creativity of God, and in the space there is opportunity for new beginnings and priorities, even a new way of living.

Our enviroment can make a big difference as to how we feel. If we have stuff everywhere, it can weigh us down and feel oppressive. Clearing, sorting, reorganising, letting go, can be liberating for our soul. With that vision to inspire, meanwhile I need to go through another box………..

Creator God, You have made the heavens and the earth, and they are a beautiful interweaving of light and shade, with geometric patterns of colour and form. We are in awe of You.                                           Lord Jesus, forgive us for our greed, that we have too much stuff, that we covet things we do not need, and are weighed down by an excess of  unnecessary objects.              Grant us courage to let things go, even though it is painful. When things seem overwhelming, may we have the courage to ask for help. Enable us to be content with less, and more generous in our sharing with others. Holy Spirit help us let go of what we no longer need, and to create space where something new can be birthed. In Jesus’ name, Amen

Anniversaries- empty rooms and heart!

Too much space!

Bereavement is not just about emotions, although that is core. You go through a relentless rollercoaster, coping with shock, sadness, anger, thanksgiving, questioning, remembering, reflecting, and then doing them all again. But there are also practical things to do, such as clearing a house, which is such an enormous task.

Today is a first anniversary, and it feels so heavy. A mixture of memories and practical things to do. And I have been working on finishing clearing the house, which has been a privilege. I have found childhood toys I had long forgotten about- triggering so many memories. And there have been old photos, letters, things of sentimental value buried at the back of drawers. You feel a bit like a detective!

Seeing rooms gradually emptying is a painful necessity. You forget how physically demanding it is, and resting, regrouping and asking a friend to help can be key. You know the work needs to be done, but emptying the room is like losing the person all over again. I always take lots of photos before I start, so I remember. Letting go of personal effects, of clothes, of furniture is excruciating, as there are so many memories attached to each one. I have taken some items back to my house, but I try not to take too many- there are too many boxes in the hall already!

I guess in life, we need to let go, to make space not just for the future but to live in the present. Clothes and furniture can bless others, houses need to be lived in by new families making new memories, and that is a comfort. Life goes on.

In Ecclesiastes chapter 3 it says that – ‘There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the sun’. Later in  Ecclesiastes 3 it also says that God has made everything beautiful in its time. The secret I think is to trust him, to lament in our sorrow, and then in time to embrace what is new. May God give us grace to honour past memories and relationships, and as we cherish them, also to find courage to find our new path.

Eternal God, it is hard to say goodbye, as we let go of possessions and places of which we have special memories. They embody people we have loved, and their loss accentuates the pain. Yet Lord Jesus, we cannot keep the world the same. You call us to come and follow, at times to shake the dust from our feet, and prepare for new adventures. May we treasure every moment, for life is fleeting. Holy Spirit, remind us that every day is a privilege, every moment can be beautiful, an opportunity to live, love and to bless. May we find courage to go forward  even when our hearts are still heavy, in Jesus name Amen.