Today is Remembrance Sunday, the day we hold a two minute silence to remember those who gave their lives in conflict, and those who served and their loved ones. It used to be we remembered the stories of veterans of the first and second world wars, but it is also those who served in Northern Ireland, in Iraq, in Afghanistan and so many other war zones. So many people have stories to tell. The battle is not just in active service, but when service men and women come back to civilian life, if they are that fortunate. How do you make that transition, when you have been right how to kill and maim as a living?

Sometimes on Remembrance Sunday we seem guilty of relying on stereotypes in our desciptions- of people who lay down their lives for their friends. It is noble and selfless. This is of course the most sacrificial thing anyone can do. But do we remember the moral complexities of war, the anguish of seeing civilian casualties, the trauma of being in hand to hand conflict?  The stories of all these conflicts, each have patterns and nuances all of their own, and no stereotypes capture the stories of individual veterans and their families. The cost of war can only be told by them. Hearing one story, and then multiplying it by millions gives a small insight into the cost of war.

Today we are called to remember- to hear these stories and allow their message to speak to our souls. But surely this should not just be for one weekend a year. Veterans and their families need recognition and support all year round. Too many end up in situations of relationship breakdown, alienation from their loved ones, unable to hold down a job, struggling with addiction and homeless on our streets. I worry that we pay lip service on Remembrance Sunday, and then move on to other things. For the veteran, they can be left struggling with traumatic memories and broken lives.

So I think Remembrance Sunday calls us not just to remember but to act. It could be we act by listening to the story of some one who is struggling, giving money to a veterans charity, or talking to that veteran who lives along the street, who seems a bit isolated. People with multiple trauma and memories of war are often looking for understanding, and the hope that one day their lives could get better. Will we show solidarity with them?  If we do not act, then Remembrance seems a bit hollow- a platitude or a cliche that lacks application or conviction.

I speak to myself also. My late husband was wounded in active service, and these wounds and disability marred all subsequent days of his life. Trying to access the right support for him in his particular situation was almost impossible. And he had to live with that. He was proud to have served, but on the days when nightmares were dark and unrelenting and his disability was especially debilitating, he felt frustrated, angry and forgotten. How do we reassure people that their stories are not forgotten?

For me, this is the hardest weekend of the year. What are we called to do to support our veterans community in a meaningful way? How can we act effectively and wisely to support those most in need? I have more questions than answers.

Jesus lay down his life for his friends – in 1 John 3:16 it says ‘ This is how we know what love is- Jesus Christ lay down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.’ The love of God is so wide and high and deep- it has no  end. We ask God to pour out that love into our lives, so we can then love others in a generous and meaningful way. Will we consider that calling whatever it might take us?

Eternal God- You created this world to be a harmonious whole, where we live in love and dignity, giving glory back to You. But we rebelled against You, forgetting Your teaching and following our own selfish desires. The human desire for money and power and status brings exploitation, destruction and human misery. Lord Jesus Christ, please forgive us, cleanse us and teach us how to love. Today we remember serving military personnel, veterans and their families, and pray for a listening ear, understanding and the right resources to help them find deep and lasting peace. Holy Spirit forgive us for our clichés and empty words. May we find a way of honouring our veterans in meaningful and  loving ways, so they know they are not forgotten, and can find solace for their souls. In Jesus name, Amen.