Advent tears.

Advent- a time of preparation- not just preparing for Christmas, but for the coming of Jesus Christ, the baby of Bethlehem, the Saviour of the world. It can be a time of people coming together, of food preparation, of carol services and prayer. We enjoy Christmas hymns in candle light, nativity services and the Word being proclaimed. Worship is sacred and meaningful.

Something I have noticed however, is that sometimes in worship we are told to be joyful. I understand that joy is a gift from God, and that there is so much to give thanks for. However people can be going through difficult days, when joy can be elusive. People can have health concerns, be experiencing family heartbreak, or the recent loss of a loved one. It can feel that everyone else is doing ok, but that you are not.

It seems so important to give people space to be real. Christmas can be a poignant time, with people travelling long journeys, under pressure to buy things they can’t afford, isolated from loved ones, remembering those no longer here, haunted by memories from the past.

We often sanitise the Christmas story, remembering only angels, shepherds and wise men. We forget the incredulity of Joseph, the stress for Mary, that long uncomfortable journey to Bethelehem, and the uncertainty of what was going to happen next. Having a baby round the back of the inn must have been a frightening experience for a young girl. Placing a new born baby in a manger, gives a small insight as to the impracticalities of the whole thing -the Messiah, being born on earth in the most humble and unlikely of circumstances.

In Matthew’s gospel, chapter 1 verse 22 it says ‘all this took place to fulfil what the Lord said through the prophet ‘ the virgin shall be with child, and will give birth to a Son, and they will call him Emmanuel, which means ‘God with us.’

We are so thankful for the presence of Jesus with us in all circumstances. As we come nearer to Christmas, we may well feel joy that we can celebrate Christ’s coming. But for those whose hearts are heavy through pain, worry or grief, may we acknowledge this, and sit with them without pressure or expectation. And may each person know that their story is known by God, that they are seen and not forgotten, and that they are treasured and loved.

Eternal God, You are our Creator, and we are so thankful at our Saviour coming to earth in the form of a human baby, vulnerable and small. Lord Jesus we are thankful that you are our Emmanuel, the God who is with us. We marvel at your grace to us, when we so little deserve it. We want to worship You, and to celebrate your birth. Sometimes however, our hearts are sore, and we worship through our tears. In our communities, help us to accept each other, in the same way that You welcome us, just as we are. Holy spirit, whatever our circumstances this Christmas, may our lives be touched by You, and may we experience, comfort, love and hope. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Places- the power of memory

I had the opportunity to revisit Millport the other day. It was stunningly beautiful, with the majestic snow dusted mountains of Arran in the background. Freezing but incredible.

I was back for very practical purposes, but just being on the island reminds me of 20 years of memories. My late mum had a wee flat there, and she generously let me use this for holidays.

We have so many wonderful memories of Cumbrae, playing crazy golf in the rain, the brilliant sunrises, walks along the beach with the seals in the early morning, and of course cycling round the island, stopping at Fintry Bay for some delicious refreshments. Walks to the top of the hill, seeing all the different types of birds, marvelling at the colours of the sea and movement of the tides are always wondrous.

The beauty of creation is often spoken of in the bible, as in psalm 19 verse 1 ‘ the heavens declare the glory of God, the skies proclaim the work of his hands’. Being on an island, the skies seem so big and glorious! Every season brings different colours in the hedgerows, a variety of birds, temperatures and ambiances. And the memories of a place often seem absorbed in the landscape, and then are like a homing beacon to come home. As soon as you set foot on the land, the memoies flood back. There is an instant familiarity of sight and fragrance and sound that is reassuring, and which catapaults you into the past. I give thanks for places where memory and landscape are so intimately interlaced.

Creator God, You have made the world to be so full of vitality and diversity, and you bless us with opportunities to explore and enjoy. Lord Jesus, you enable us to experience precious memories and connections with others, family and friends, and we are thankful. Holy spirit, help us to notice the gorgeous nature of our surroundings, often the backdrop to our experiences, and to cherish these deep interconnections and affinities. In Jesus name, Amen

Running on empty!

With the recent rises in fuel costs, I got into the habit of putting less fuel in my car! Now I know that is not logical. Half filling the tank each time looked as if I wasn’t paying so much, but obviously just meant I had less fuel to get anywhere. And this meant that little warning light above keeps coming on- get to a garage, as you have very little fuel left.

This started me musing in other areas, for it feels as if for many of us, we are spiritually running on empty. In the time leading up to Christmas, we seem to be trying to do too much, without enough resources. It is like we are trying to make up for the last two Christmases, when the restrictions of the pandemic kept us isolated. And so now we have works nights out, trying to catch up with friends, travelling to see family. We have nativity services, community lunches, charity concerts, plus Christmas cards and trees and food preparation. And this is against a background of food and fuel prices dramatically increasing, and a whole series of strikes. And temperatures of minus 7!

The strains on our society are immense just now, in terms of health and social care, in education and transport. The degree of misery and despair for some is immense, people not able to afford food or heat, in debt, struggling to find appropriate care for chronic health conditions, dealing with complex losses and bereavements.

So how can we spiritually refuel, and find any hope? Well I think the story of the first Christmas helps. Jesus was born to Mary, and to Joseph far from home, round the back of an inn amongst the animals. Things were difficult and messy that first Christmas. Yet in the midst of this, they were thankful for what they had, they trusted God, and they recognised the wonder of Jesus, the Son of God being born into the world. And the wonder of it filled their souls with joy and reverence and peace.

Maybe we need to slow down a little in Advent, and to do a bit less. It doesn’t have to be perfect. And if things go wrong, and relationships are strained, and finances are tight, simplifying things is ok. The best moments in life can be quiet moments, unexpected connections, glittery spiders webs, laughter with friends. It is being grateful for what we have, and taking time to be in the moment. It is only when we take time, then we are replenished and more able to then support others.

‘The Word became flesh and dwelt among us’ John 1:14. This means that God understands our struggles, grief and isolation. Jesus came into this world, to remind us of the enormity of God’s love for us, so we can receive that love and live in it. And the more time we spend in worship and contemplation, the more we are spiritually replenished and renewed. So may we take time to breathe, to enjoy sparkly lights, to listen to Christmas carols, to go to church, to notice and walk in the beauty of Creation. May we let God refuel our souls, so weariness might be replaced by peace, and emptiness by love, despair by hope.

Eternal Father, you sent Your precious Son Jesus Christ into this world, our Wonderful Counsellor and Prince of Peace, to bring joy to the world. At times our heads are down and our hearts are heavy, burdened by the grief and pain of our society. Even in our lowest moments, especially in these lowest moments, come along side us, and speak to us of your love and grace and truth. Babe of Bethlehem, Child in a manger, remind us that you are our Emmanuel, and that we are never alone. May we choose to make space to find spiritual refueling, and then to find strength to live each day. Holy spirit, breath new life into us, help us to have moments to rest, to give thanks, and to self care, for You love us with an everlasting love. Bless us with your peace. Amen.

Extraordinary peace.

Over a very emotional weekend, I had the opportunity to sit in the warm sunshine for a while. And while I was there, a stunning butterfly came and landed on my knee. It was just enjoying the warmth.

It sat there for about 20 minutes, and this was so good for both of us! Being still was so healing in itself, and having this beautiful creature to study was all absorbing. From the movement of the antennae to the fluttering of its wings, it was so interesting. It seemed so fragile, yet it had such a strong life force, choosing to sit in the sun.

Not to be dramatic, but it felt like a gift from God! A time of gratitude and awe and stillness that I really needed, a gift of peace and wonder, that has stayed with me, and given me strength.

I remember the verse from Philippians 4:19 ‘God will meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus.’ God is so often gracious, and blesses us with an encouragement and inspiration, just when we need it. May God meet the needs of all of us, when we cry to Him, and may we receive His message of love.

Gracious Creator God, we so easily become downhearted and unsettled, weary from too much sadness. Even in bleak times, open our eyes to the beauty around us. Lord Jesus, grant us moments of such awe and wonder, that we find healing and deep peace. Holy spirit, may we each receive the blessing You have for us, and find renewal and strength for each day, Amen.

Mystery in prayer!

To my great surprise, I have had some answered prayer this week- a person came forward at just the right moment, another person was really encouraging, and a family member had a positive medical appointment. I am deeply humbled at some really lovely outcomes.

It made me realise however, sometimes when I pray, I just don’t know what to expect. I know that I pray to the King of all the universe, and that God delights in hearing his children. I know that God is good and loving, that He loves justice and is merciful. I know that nothing is impossible for God.

And yet my experience is that sometimes when I have prayed desperately for some one to be healed, or for a particular direction in my life, it has not worked out. Maybe healing for some one, is sometimes the healing that is in death- no more crying or pain. Sometimes too, in retrospect for some prayers, I am glad that God did not bring them to pass, for I was in danger of going in the wrong direction.

Yet it is so hard. There is so much mystery in prayer, so much that we don’t understand. It can really hurt, when what we prayed for seemed so reasonable. I was rereading some of Philip Yancey’s book ‘ Prayer’ and on page 239 he reminds his readers of Paul’s words ‘now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror, then ( in God’s nearer presence) we shall see face to face.’ 1 Corinthians 13: 12

We are so conscious that we only understand things in part. There is so much that makes no sense. The book of Job articulates this theme so well, when Job faces so many disasters in his life, but somehow can still say ‘ I know that my Redeemer lives’ Job 19:25. He trusted even when he didn’t understand.

This is my prayer for all of us today, that whatever our situation, whatever our story and our struggles, that we still able to trust God, to know that His love for us is unchanging, even when He seems far away. God is faithful, even when we doubt, and He is loving and forgiving, even when we cannot feel it. In the middle of doubt, questioning, and even anger, may we know that God never gives up on us, and always offers us a way back to Him.

Gracious and Loving God, we are so thankful for your perfect nature, Your goodness, and mercy and grace. We thankyou for your love in Jesus Christ, supplying all our needs. At times You answer our prayers in ways we recognise, and we are so grateful. At other times we are hurt and bewildered at how life turns out, and in danger of becoming bitter. Holy spirit, cleanse us of anger and resentment, and restore out faith in You. Even in the mystery of our prayer lives, speak to us of Your constancy and faithfulness, and enable us to trust, even when we do not understand, and even to find peace, Amen.

Windows to the soul!

There is an old saying that your eyes are the windows to the soul. It is amazing when you meet someone what their eyes tell you- they can speak of heartache or worry or joy or wonder, just by being.

My beautiful friend has dementia- some one I have known for such a long time. She has forgotten most things, and needs extra care to keep her safe. It is so gut wrenching to see her like this, and I have to screw up my courage to visit.

But when I get there, all I can see is her eyes, all I can feel is her spirit. Her Christian faith shines from her, and the holy spirit dwells within her. We can sing hymns together, and she tells me verses from the bible, even though she doesn’t know where she is. And her eyes sparkle and speak of such a deep love, that I weep every time. In her presence, I feel the presence of Christ, the product of a life time of prayer and obedience. It is so humbling, and so beautiful.

In Matthew 6:22 it says ‘ the eye is like a lamp, that provides light for the body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is healthy’ and this seems so true. My dear friend gives testimony to this every day. The light of Christ is in her body, mind and soul, and His love radiates from her. A poignant blessing.

Gracious God, thankyou for the way your light shines, and the darkness cannot put it out. Thankyou that even when people are unwell with illnesses or dementia, that Your love for them can still be seen in the tender aspect of their eyes. It is so deeply moving. Lord Jesus, in a society where so many have memory problems, teach us to be respectful, and to support and care for vulnerable people in the community or in care homes. Help us keep them safe. And may your holy spirit always be at work in their lives, so they know they are loved and treasured. Bless all those who care for a vulnerable loved one this day, grant them patience and wisdom, in Jesus name, Amen.

So many spiritual casualties.

I have been travelling, and loved it. Recently I watched some swallows going in and out of a nest, so graceful in their flight, playing and dancing and darting about. They looked so free, and their nest was the centre of the action.

It reminded me of the verse in the psalms, in psalm 84 about God’s house; ‘ the bird has found a house, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young.’ Psalm 84 talks about how the house of God can be a place of the presence of God, a place of safety and worship.

It got me thinking however, about how many people have not found the church to be like this. Over the years I have met so many people who have been let down by the church, and hurt by the people in it.

I know some people find me difficult, and I apologise to anyone who I have hurt, or forgotten something important. I am so very human, and I grieve over mistakes I have made.

Church families are very human too. Often we are trying our best, but when personalities disagree, or there is conflict, we sometimes forget the ways of Christ, to pray, to talk, to seek forgiveness, to be peacemakers. And even when we try, sometimes with the best will in the world it doesn’t work out. We don’t know each other’s stories, we can judge the other harshly but excuse ourselves. And it is so very painful.

Whatever happens in a church, the most important thing is that we know that God’s love for us is unchanging, that He looks at us with eyes of mercy, and that because of Jesus Christ He forgives us for our faults, and welcomes us into His family. God is always faithful, He does not turn us away. He welcomes us with open arms. And this never changes

Gracious God, Your house in meant to be a place of safety, love and blessing. Forgive us when it becomes a place of hurt and pride and judgement. Forgive us when we hurt others or turn them away. Teach us to live differently. Lord Jesus bind up the wounds of the spiritual casualties around us, people who feel rejected and unvalued from experiences in churches. Holy spirit please be at work in our churches and communities to that people know how much You love them, and that they can find healing and peace in You. May every person have an encourager alongside, to remind them that they are seen and loved, for Lord Jesus, this is why You came, Amen.

Space to be- even at the airport!

I recently have had the privilege to travel. It has been so good to visit wonderful friends, and I am so blessed.

However the journeying process was challenging, especially some of the baggage checks. The queue was busy, and you had to put your stuff in plastic trays to go through the scanner. But to get the plastic tray on the conveyor belt, you had to make a space, and basically that meant pushing some one else’s stuff out the way. For a while, I chose not to do this, but as time went by, all that happened was that everyone else pushed passed. I would have been there for the whole day, if I didn’t choose, very reluctantly, to push away a tray on the conveyor belt to make space for my tray.

This sounds like such a trivial thing, but it became enormously symbolic. In order to live well, we all need to have space to be. It didn’t harm anyone to put my tray up, but what it did, was release me to get on with my journey.

In the Christian life, we desire to love and serve others, and this is such a privilege. We take up our cross, as Jesus says in Luke 9:23. It is a great choice to make, but sometimes the danger can be that we burn out. We are so busy making space for others, we do not have space to be, to pray, to receive from God, to play, to enjoy. We need good boundaries, in order to be well enough to love and serve others.

Our holiday with our amazing friends is such a blessing, and it is a wonderful time to reflect, and to rediscover the importance of space and beauty, prayer and connection. God reminds me that he calls His children to enjoy Him and His stunning creation, and to know the comfort, healing and guidance of His spirit.

May we all find space to be, to take time to heal, to rest, to find perspective, to start again.

Risen Lord, we desire to take up our cross and follow you. Sometimes the load is heavy, and we are worn down. Holy spirit, whisper your words to us, that Word from God in season, that we need to hear. Creator God, help us find space in our lives to come and rest with You, to receive Your love. May the things of this world not crowd You out, or diminish Your voice. Teach us to prioritise, to have space to listen, to heal and to find restoration and peace. In your Son’s precious name, Amen.

Hallelujahs- finding perspective through praise!

‘O come let us worship and bow down, let us kneel before the Lord our Maker’ Psalm 96:6

At the moment, it feels as if we are all going through every emotion- Christmas approaching, a new virus variant, so many stories of tragedy, local and international. These are such turbulent days.

I think at times it can all feel overwhelming. For people who have experienced trauma and bereavement, it can be even more unsettling, because there are so many triggers, and so many old wounds are reopened. What can we do, to rediscover our equilibrium when we feel troubled and off balance?

For me, I need to spend time with God, time with His Word, time in worship. This reminds me that God is still present, and that His goodness and mercy never fail. Worship reminds me of the bigger picture, helps me remember that I am a child of God and restores my perspective.

The psalms express something of that perspective, people being real, questioning and lamenting. Rereading this book of prayers and praise can help in days of dismay and weariness.

There are days however when it can be hard to concentrate, and so beautiful praise music can be ideal to find connection with God, and opportunities for worship.

On days when we hunger for God’s presence, music like ‘Nothing else’ by Cody Carnes, can remind us of the beauty and wonder of God’s presence. If we are experiencing a time of waiting and uncertainty ‘While I wait’ by Lincoln Brewster can transport is into the presence of God. If we are experiencing sorrow ‘ When the tears fall’ by Tom Hughs is so deeply moving. The song ‘ Broken Hallelujahs’ expresses that we can worship, even when we don’t understand and are hurting. We might not find all the answers, but we find a God who cares.

Sometimes we think that in order to pray or to praise God we need the right words, or we need a certain amount of faith. But Jesus calls us to come as we are, with faith even the size of a grain of mustard. He accepts our faltering words, and mumbling groans. And so we are thankful.

Merciful God, we know that we are created in Your image, to live in relation to You, to receive Your love, and to share it with others. Yet sometimes we get hurt, and are sorrowful and disillusioned, and we are in danger of retreating inside ourselves. Lord Jesus, You understand the pain of human existence, and You came to save us from our sins, to bring healing, to set us free. When we are struggling, may we ask Your Holy spirit to help us reconnect to You, to sing our Hallelujahs, even when they are just a whisper echoing down the corridors of eternity. Even when we are crawling, and on our knees, may we worship and trust, and somehow gain perspective, to know that we are heard and loved, for You are faithful. Enfold us in Your love, that we may find peace and strength, Amen.

A vision of harmony!

I have been so blessed to have had some time out with family in a sunny place. I realise how very much I have missed opportunities just to rest and be, in a warm climate.

I have especially enjoyed the light here, the amazing variety of colours in the sunsets, and last night the moon reflecting its silver glow across the expanse of the ocean. The bright luminous path in the sea in the starry night was wondrous.

(not my picture, but this was the idea!)

The ripples of light in the water, as I have been swimming, have also been mesmerising. I have felt harmonious with the water and the air, as new patterns and ripples appear in a pool, or you become one with the rhythms of the waves in the sea.

The wonder of these experiences have been so good for my soul. For a short while I have put to one side images of conflict, poverty and distress, and I feel at peace with nature, and the Creator of all things. It has reminded me of my desire to be in harmony with God, to be at one with Christ, to just rest in God’s love.

I used to think that this was selfish, but now I understand that these moments of connection refresh my soul, for the days ahead. Finding time to refuel in the pandemic was strangely difficult, because although there was more time, at times I had to fight a sense of claustrophobia and sadness. I think for many people, the pandemic left us all more isolated, and not able to process our grief in community. So being able to travel has reminded me of that sense of freedom and space and connection.

Ultimately, one of the most beautiful Bible passages about harmony is in Revelation 22:1-3

‘The angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb, down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing 12 crops of fruit. And the leaves of the trees are for the healing of the nations.’

I love John’s vision of the future, where people are with God, full of praise and worship. It seems no surprise that there is water, clear as crystal, at the centre of the city, bringing healing and beauty and life to all, for the leaves of the trees are to bringing healing to the nations. That spiritual refreshment offers possibilities of transformation for all. Vision such as this brings us strength and hope for the journey ahead.

Gracious God, our Creator, You have created a world of intricate patterns of light and shade, and of jaw dropping moments of revelation and connection. We worship You, grateful for possibilities of harmony, when the lion and the lamb lie down together. Lord Jesus, in You all things are held together, as the forgiveness You offer through the cross, brings an invitation to reconciliation for all. There are times in this life when pride, grief and violence seem overwhelming. But when we look to You, you remind us of the truth of who You are, and we are reassured and find peace. Through your holy spirit, inspire us to work towards healing and harmony even amongst the brokenness, and grant us a clarity of vision to energise us each day, Amen.