That Easter image of a caterpillar becoming a butterfly is inspiring. It is easy to think it happens quickly, and then you have a wonderful outcome. However it can take 7-14 days inside a chrysalis for this transformation to take place!

I feel as if I have been in a chrysalis for the last 6 weeks. It started off as an ordinary day, but then things started to change. God gave me a restlessness about my life, which developed into a questioning. At the same time, there was the beginning of a formation and call to something new. And this time of transition was confusing and painful and disorientating. I stopped blogging for a while, because so many things didn’t make sense. It was like a dark night of the soul.

That time in the chrysalis is dark and messy. I called out to God, asking for direction and guidance. Sometimes I was unsure, but as I prayed and read and pondered, my call to leave and then go in a new direction became clearer. I am so grateful to God for that clarity, as I was worried I would miss what God was saying.

I thought about Moses not being able to go into the promised land, and so commissioning Joshua to take the next steps instead.( Deuteronomy 31). Sometimes we need to stand aside for others to continue the work, however painful a decision that is.

I was in that chaotic dark place for a while, but God directed my manoeverings so I could emerge out into the light. I hope I have learned to trust Him more completely through this experience. I am still not sure exactly what will happen next, but I am at peace, and listening expectantly for the whisper of the Holy Spirit to speak once more. I am blessed and at peace. 

‘ To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul,                                                                         In you I trust, o my God.’     Psalm 25:1

Gracious and Eternal God, there is nothing new under the sun, and yet as your children we are surprised and challenged so easily when things change. We are put out and confused. And in your grace, Lord Jesus, you speak Your Word of Hope and Truth, and you call us to follow. Please may we always be attentive to your voice, even in the midst of chaos and confusion. And when we hear you, Holy Spirit, give us courage, to go in a new direction, and to continue to grow more fully into our God given self. In Jesus, name, Amen