Human relationships are so complicated. Whether it is family dynamics or workplace tensions, navigating wisely is so stressful. What are healthy boundaries to have? How do we love others, without harming ourselves?

There are so many stories of people who have tried to do their very best, but where it has not worked out. Perhaps you have followed your core beliefs in a work place enviroment, and have been marginalised and disrespected as a result. Perhaps you tried to intervene in a family dispute, and it backfired dramatically. Or you made a comment to some one, which was taken out of context, and which then caused trouble. 

There are so many misunderstandings in relationships. We hope there is enough trust, to talk through differences, to agree to differ, to forgive and be forgiven. However it is human nature that we easily take offense, that we can struggle to see the point of view of another, and that we dismiss and belittle instead, blocking any attempt at deep listening or attempts at reconciliation. This can result in hostile glares and radio silence, causing long lasting damage and isolation for those involved.

When we are young, we often seek to do everthing we can to repair difficult relationships, to pray and to extend the olive branch. It is good to do these things, and to keep the door open where possible. As we get older, there is a realisation that sometimes accepting that things are as they are, might be the only path left. Differing memories, personality types and values can make even being in the same room an unfruitful experience.

This is not a negative post, but rather a realistic one. As Christians, we remember Jesus teaching ‘to love others as you love yourselves’ Matthew 22:39 We seek to love others with the affirming and generous love of Christ, but if that love is abused or exploited, then we might question if we have forgotten to love ourselves. It is a delicate balance- if we forget to love ourselves, then we risk becoming empty and resentful. If we put ourselves first all the time, then we miss the joy of healthy relationships with others.

I don’t have answers to all this, but I want to at least raise the questions. Following Jesus Christ means carrying our cross, and showing sacrificial love to the world in His name. Yet Jesus also didn’t conform, he challenged the religious establishment, he experienced moments of joy, he went for walks, shared meals, and went to a wedding. He had a balance of  finding renewal in quiet time with His heavenly Father, and joy in human company.

We seek that balance, to pray, to love generously, to forgive and be forgiven. Yet in our humanity, sometimes it doesn’t work out, and there are painful musunderstandings. We pray, we do what we can to make amends, but there are also times to commit things into the hands of God, to walk away and be at peace.

Eternal God, Creator of all things, You made this world, stars and space to be in harmony and balance. As human beings, we are made in Your image, to steward the earth, and to love one another. Lord Jesus, we seek to love with your pure and generous love. Yet our hearts are often rebellious and proud- forgive times when we spoke hastily and without thought, for mistakes and  hurt caused. Lord Jesus, when we are hurting, remind us that You understand, and that You show tender love to the bruised and the broken. We grieve over the damage that broken relationships cause in families, in churches, in the work place. Holy spirit, where possible, give us opportinities for deep listening and reconciliation. And when it is not to be, help us to know that you see us, that we might experience healing and peace.