Wimbledon memories!

Today I watched the men’s final between Carlos Alcaraz and Novak Djokovic. It was a good match, with some spectacular tennis.

One of the reasons that I wanted to watch this particular game, was because it reminded me of the same Wimbledon final last year, between the same two finalists. Last year it was a much more even match, and a brilliant battle between the mature Djokovic and the young Alcaraz.

One of the reasons that the 2023 match was so memorable, was because I watched it with my mum. She wasn’t so well, but was home, and we watched the match together. It was a lovely shared experience, drinking lots of coffee and commentating on all the twists and turns of the match. As it turned out, it was one of the last more ‘ normal’ things that we did together, and I will always treasure that as a result.

Cherishing each moment of life is such an important thing to do. It is easy to get lost in past memories, so much so that you forget to live in the present. We need to take the opportunities in front of us, as they are unlikely to come again. We value the conversation with that person, the walk in the park, seeing that show. Every moment is precious.

Jesus said ‘ I have come that you may have life in abundance’. John 10: 10b. We are not to let our appreciation of life to be diminished or snatched away, but to give thanks for all we have. I watched the tennis final today, honouring my mum’s memory, and making the time to do this, somehow seemed to help keep to connect more with her. It also reminded me to keep making choices in the present that bring joy, even if they are poignant. We are to have courage to choose things that honour God and bring life, every day we have.

Eternal God, this life on earth is so transitory compared with our life with You. Help us to live it well, and to seek your will. May our lives not be small, but expansive and generous. Lord Jesus, help us to be thankful for your love, for our families and friends, and to cherish our memories. Holy Spirit give us courage also to make new memories, and to love those around us, with the same abundant love that You have for us. Amen.

Staring into space…

Life can be so demanding- a never ending series of emails, phonecalls and activities. By the time you finish one item on your to do list, another 5 have popped up. It can be a relentless series of tasks and voices and responsibilities.

In the midst of it all, sometimes taking time out, just staring into space can be part of the answer. It is counter cultural- for a while not being productive or goal orientated or seen to be useful, but just to do nothing.

In his book ‘The Jesus way’ Eugene Petersen speaks in this way ‘we stop, whether by chance or through circumstances, so we can be attentive and receptive to what God is doing in and for us, and for others on the way. We wait for our souls to catch up with our bodies.’

These times of stopping can be in time out over the summer, or weekends, or daily practices of interweaving quiet moments into our day. Sometimes we take that time because of ill health or bereavement. It is time to slow down, to reflect and to take stock.

We know that in the ten commandments, in Exodus chapter 20, the fourth commandment is to ‘Remember the sabbath and keep it holy’. We are to make sure we have a day each week’ dedicated to worship, to rest and renewal. In our 24/7 culture however, people are under pressure to work longer hours, connected to technology which piles on the pressure, where people expect instant availability, answers and action. We get sucked into this culture, until we are in danger of losing our sense of self, our identity.

Taking a moment to challenge that culture can be daunting, but is essential. Even if we are just gazing into space, our body gets a moment of respite from all the stresses and pressures, our adrenalin and cortisol levels get a chance to regulate, and we can become less tired. The more regularly we have these quieter moments, the better for our bodies.

We also need still moments for our souls, to be able to connect with God more deeply, and to rest in His presence. The silence can be a time to hear His message of love and grace to us anew, to receive nurture, and discover new possibilities.

Making space just to be, can enable much to happen. However we make the space, just to pause and to catch our breath, and this in turn can enable us, when we are ready, to find a deeper rhythm of connection and to re- orientate to God’s purpose for us.

Staring into space, allows us a time to rest, to process our thoughts, to get in touch with what is going on within us. It helps us get beyond the clamouring voices and pressures of every day life, and to sit in stillness. This enables us to then hear the Holy Spirit at work in our lives, to experience love, healing and peace. We are thankful for a God who reminds us of the importance of rest, and we pray that this might be a priority in our daily lives.

Gracious God, at times our minds are so busy, trying to keep our email boxes under control, to live up to expectations, to fulfil our responsibilities. It can become a constant grind. Lord Jesus, in your earthly ministry, you took time out to pray and to rest. Teach us how to do this, without feeling guilty. Help us to trust that You, the God of the universe, can carry our burdens, and set us free from all that is heavy. Grant us moments of stillness in our daily lives, just to be. And in these quiet moments, may we learn to be attentive to your Holy Spirit and to your gentle whispers of love and healing. In Jesus’ name, Amen

A theology of photos?

I have been looking through photographs recently. I take a very large number of photos. I guess I am afraid that I will forget something significant, so I keep clicking! I learned from a photographer, that it is often by taking large numbers of photos, you get one that really resonates. My only problem is when I forget to delete the rest!

I am not particularly good at taking photos, and I just use my phone. However, I love remembering a lovely evening with family or friends, or an inspiring landscape, just after a storm, or the first rays of light over the horizon in the morning.

I am making up some photo books, and I love selecting photos connecting me with memories of people, travel and moments of transcendence. It might be photos of a children’s party, a church celebration, a butterfly that alights beside my chair. These photos elicit a deep feeling of thanksgiving and the richness of life.

John O Donoghue wrote; ‘ the wonder of beauty is it’s ability to surprise us. With swift sheer grace, it is like a divine breath that blows the heart open’. Quiet miracles can be captured in photographs giving us an eternal reminder of a divine encounter or revelation, that consoles and inspires every time we look at it. That can be the wonder of photography which truly blows the heart open.

One of the challenges is what we do with the darker photos- and I don’t mean the ones where we have forgotten to use the flash! I mean the photos that reminds you of when communication broke down, or the person was sick, or the mood was sombre. What do we do with these remembrances?

After much internal debate, I have kept many of these photos, and sometimes integrated them into bigger collections, for they also represent part of life. They speak of the shadow side of life which is equally real. We might not want to dwell on them too much, but it is part of our appreciation of what is loving and inspirational, that we also acknowledge the poignant and the sorrowful. A knowledge of the darker side of our lives gives a deeper appreciation of what is uplifting or joyful.

The verse from psalm 29:2 says ‘ worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness’. Noticing the beauty and goodness of God in photographic form, whether it is in the sparrow hopping about under a hedgerow, or a sacred time with a friend, or the companionship of your dog, is a great blessing. And photographs remind you of these blessings, and can bring much joy and consolation, for which we give thanks.

Gracious God, You give us such rich experiences in life, glimpses of Your love and goodness revealed in this earthly life. We are so grateful for memories- poignant and joyful, and all the intertwined connections. Lord Jesus we give thanks for the gift of photography, which can reinforce gaps in our fallible memories, and speak to our hearts. Holy Spirit, when we are ready, enable us to take time to look through old photos, and to give thanks. We pray for healing of old wounds, and ask for a deeper appreciation for the richness of our lives. Though the gift of photography, may our reverence for You be strenggthened, and may we remember and give thanks, in Jesus’ name, Amen

The courage to try, and the wisdom to reconsider!

Ever had a bucket list? Amongst other things I always wanted to try a segway. I guess it all started with an episode of Frasier, where Niles and the others have a lot of fun chasing each other and jumping on and off one. How hard can it be?

For me, the truth is very hard indeed. I went to the hire shop, where they promised me full training! A lovely patient man, I will call Simon, to protect the innocent, got me kitted out. The first problem was getting on. If you put your feet on with one swift movement, you were fine. If you hesitated, even for a second, the segway escaped, which was more than a little disconcerting. I had to practice jumping on it near a wall.

I got my practice session in the middle of a busy street. There were a number of people who stopped to watch, grinning widely at my antics, from a very safe distance. Going forward, you have to press with your toes. To stop, you press with your heels ( but if you press too much with your heels, then you go backwards!!!). I was terrified I would mow someone down, and my shrieks were heard half way down Michegan Avenue. My lovely instructor was very reassuring ‘many people start like this’ ‘ once you get in an open space you can go faster’ ‘ You’ll get the hang of it’. ‘ There are lots of hills so you need to gave good control’. He tried to catch me everytime I failed to turn round in time, or overbalanced.

After a while, he looked at me as I clung to the handle bars with a vice like hold, as I careered in the wrong direction yet again, and said the wonderfully welcome and gentle words ‘I think from a health and safety viewpoint, maybe this isn’t for you’. I tried to pause for more than a nanosecond before agreeing. If you put it like that, I would have to agree. Seldom have I been more relieved!

To try to regain a modicum of dignity, I decided to hire a bike instead. In comparison, this was a piece of cake, and I cycled along the lakeside for an hour.

I am a little sad that segwaying is not to be. I had a valiant try, and am pleased that I did have the courage to try a new thing. This particular new thing was not for me! Choosing not to pursue it was wisdom, for the health and wellbeing of the Chicago community, and to prevent me coming home with a stookie!

Gracious God, You often call us into new territory, to try different things. It can be hard, even with the most patient instruction. Thankyou for the ability to laugh at ourselves, and that you give us the wisdom to reconsider our path when the time is right. Lord Jesus, thankyou for Your patience with us. Holy Spirit give us discernment, even in the little choices in life, what to pursue, and when to let go. In Your precious name, Amen.

Chicago- full circle of memory.

I have wanted to return to Chicago for years. When I was young, I was an exchange student at the Divinity school at the University of Chicago for a term. It was a bit of an overwhelming experience, but I learned so much about myself and the wider world. Teachers like Martin Marty were thought-provoking about the place of Christianity in society, and also pastoral to their students. The incredible variety of students, cultures and theologies challenged me and made me grow in my faith. I am forever grateful.

When I was first in Chicago, I had just had a major bereavement, and I felt a bit hollow. I think I didn’t really have the language then to describe the dull ongoing ache. I conformed during the day, but when I had time to be in touch with my emotions at night it was harder.

The verse that was my encouragement then was from psalm 139 ‘If I rise on the dawn, even if I settle on the far side of the sea, your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast’ verses 9 and 10. Even though I was on the far side of the sea, I knew God would watch over me in just the same way, holding me fast. And He was faithful, blessing me and nurturing and teaching me.

I learned from this experience and many others, that for me travelling challenges my suppositions, broadens my horizons and enlarges my understanding. Listening to different voices has made me be more understanding and compassionate. It reminds me that I am part of a global family, and puts the traditions and understandings of my culture into a bigger perspective. This is so humbling, and also refreshing. I am privileged to be able to travel, to learn and to connect and find joy! Coming back to Chicago has been grounding, as it feels as if I have come full circle. I am able to recognise more fully all I learned from this experience, and it also reminds me to encourage others to travel when the opportunity presents.

A windswept photo from all these years ago.

Through this visit, I have more insight as to how God has been working throughout my life, even when I didn’t understand it at the time, and have gained a more thankful heart. 🙏

Creator God, You are faithful to your people in every part of the globe. We thank you for the Christian family, expressing their love for You Lord Jesus in every continent and island, and for opportunities to learn from one another. Forgive us for times when your family fall out and quarrel, when there are divisions between us. May we realise more of what it means to be part of a world wide church. Even in our differences, may Your ministry of reconciliation prevail. Holy Spirit, may we be attentive listeners to You, and to one another, open to learning and to being more like Jesus, so others might know we are Christians by our love. In Your precious name, Amen.

Chicago- an aesthetic which inspires!

I have had the blessing of being in Down town Chicago over the weekend. I had been before, and thought I knew what I was coming to. When I was here before, it was many years ago in the autumn/ winter. What I found this time, however was extraordinary, an architectural inspiration that in the sunlight, brought delight round every corner.

I don’t have an architectural background. Despite this, I know the variety, abundance and scale of the buildings here are magnificent. There is every style imaginable, mainly well spaced, so you keep seeing them from different angles in every street. The newer contextual buildings are particularly individual and playful, and the engineering behind them, to make them stable in this windy city, is quite extraordinary.

Wandering the streets, and being on the river enabled me to appreciate many of these buildings. You want to know the time period, the architect and their vision, their purpose- to catch a glimpse of their achievement.

Doestoevsky once wrote ‘beauty will save the world’. I don’t know what he meant by that. As a Christian, I know that Jesus saved the world. Maybe part of what he was referring to, is that God gives us all a gift of creativity, to bless and inspire, and beauty can draw us out of ourselves, to just be in the moment and marvel. Beauty comes in different forms- in a song, a poem, a painting, in architecture. And when we are stopped in our tracks, and just look at something exquisite, just for that moment, some of our worries fade, and we feel as if we are experiencing a moment of transcendence, when we feel the presence of God. It is such a gift.

You might think this us a bit of an exaggeration! However I am trying to articulate why visiting here has been so moving. Chicago, like every city has many flaws and troubles. But on a gorgeous day, surrounded by such visual grandeur and variety, I found consolation which brought me peace.

‘God has made everything beautiful in its time’ Ecclesiastes 3; 11- it is wonderful to recognise beauty even in the most unexpected places, and to treasure it.

Creator God- You fashioned this world and all the stars in space, and called it good. As human beings, You give to us the gift of being creative- in song, word, art and theatre. Thankyou for all that reminds us of the richness and variety of our world, in texture and form and style. Lord Jesus, forgive us when we choose to destroy instead of create, to negate rather than to nurture. May we notice what is good and true and full of artistry, and give thanks. Holy Spirit, awaken us from our slumber to notice what is true and noble in our world, and to appreciate it and rejoice, Amen.

Trusting God again and again!

Sometimes it is hard to trust God. We know He is faithful, good and full of loving kindness. We know all the right verses- ‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.’ Proverbs 3: 5-6.

Yet in the moment, when things go wrong and we are hurting, we can’t always see how God might be working. It can be hard to see anything, except to experience the pain and the sadness.

Yet God is so patient with me, and keeps inviting me to trust. Yesterday I had an airport connection to make, but the first plane was late leaving. By the time we landed, my next flight was already boarding. I was waiting to leave the first plane, but everything was so slow- the vehicle to take us to the terminal building seemed to go at 5 miles an hour. And my mind was spiraling- I’m not going to be able to run fast enough to get my connection, I will miss my flight, I will be stuck at the airport for days. I was just getting agitated thinking of all that was about to go wrong. I rushed out the bus to the next security barrier at full pelt.

My ticket set off an alarm, which took me to customer services. I tried to explain what had happened in an incoherent torrent of words. And the poor man behind the desk looked at me in a kindly way, and said ‘ we saw you’ on the system. We are putting you and your bags on a later flight. It is all fine. And sure enough, there was another flight a few hours later, they upgraded my seat, and all was well.

What a lesson in trust. Not just in an airline, but in God. When things don’t work out it is easy to catastrophise- to think that it is a disaster. But sometimes a situation can be salvaged. And we are completely dependent on a God who sees us, and makes provision for us. It doesn’t mean that things don’t go wrong- of course they do. But God sees, and call us not to use our energy to worry and speculate on things going wrong. Rather to just know we need to do our best, then relinguish control, and to trust. I need to learn this lesson three times a day!

Gracious God, as your children we worry and fret and question. We often don’t understand. Lord Jesus, in the midst of it all, You call us to take your hand, and to believe that you can save us in the midst of turbulence and storms. Help us to listen for your voice- to hear what your Holy Spirit has to say to us, and to be calm and to trust that all will be well. When under pressure, may we take a breath, submit to You, and know that in living or dying, all is well. So may we not fear or worry, and every day learn to trust You more, in the deepest places of our hearts, Amen

Spiritual spaghetti junctions!

When driving, sometimes you find yourself at a large intersection, which it can be hard to navigate. You have to be in the right lane at the right time, to get to the next set of options, just to find your route through. You have to be alert and orientated to find the right path to take you to your destination.

In life, we find ourselves facing many choices. Some seem small, like what to eat, what to wear, what kind of washing machine to buy. However every choice we make, says something about us, and affects how we live, and how we feel about ourselves.

Then we come to our soul choices, what to be listen to, what should we be doing, what is our purpose? What are our priorities in life? We seldom take time, just to ponder and reflect. Maybe over the summer, we need to take time to do this, to take time out, and to ask God what is our purpose in this new season?

Sometimes it seems as if we are in a spiritual spaghetti junction. There is so much in this world that we are not in control of. Yet there are some choices we can make- even just our daily habits. How do we adopt healthy rhythms in life- food, exercise and rest? And what about spiritual practices- time to reflect on our formation- who are we becoming- are we more like Jesus or less, do we regularly connect with Him in prayer, bible reading and praise, and is the way we do this good for our souls? We pray that God will help us find the best choices for us at any stage of our lives.

Maybe just now we are struggling with a destructive habit or negative attitude. Especially when we are tired, we can revert to old ways of thinking which bring the temptation of cynicism or resentment. They can lead us to spiral to a dark place.

In the midst of our struggles, God sees us. In psalm 40 it says that when we are at the bottom of the pit, He lifts us up, and gives us a firm place to stand, to a Rock which gives us stability and refuge. He guides our path, even in the midst of the myriad of choices possible, leading us to safety.

May we always remember to say ‘ Come Holy Spirit’ for the Spirit is our guide in the most complex and confusing of places. Even when we are perplexed and bewildered, the Holy Spirit speaks to us- through the bible, through the words of a song, though a friend. And then the road ahead becomes clearer, our purpose comes more sharply into focus, and we are able to go forward.

Father God, this world is such a busy place with so many possible routes- some which takes us from You, and others that lead us to You. Lord Jesus- reveal to us more of Your will for our lives. In the midst of our choices, both big and small, Holy Spirit protect us from what is wrong, and strengthen us to follow Your ways. Help us take time to discern what is nurturing, constructive and pleasing to You, so we can grow in our faith, and be Your ambassadors in this world. Help us not to be overwhelmed, and to know Your leading. Give us courage to follow we pray, in Jesus’ name, Amen

Monsters under the bed!

When we are small, our imaginations can run riot, and as a child in the night, even the slightest of noises can sound alarming. At times we think there could be monsters under the bed, and we get scared. A tiny creak can make us suspect that something horrible is going on.

As a child, I remember watching episodes of Dr Who from behind the settee. It was not so much the daleks I feared, but the sea devils and the spiders from Metebilis 3. It was terrifying that they might escape from the television.

As an adult, I now know these things are unlikely to happen, but fear is still something we all have to wrestle with. As we get older, the nature of our fears might change, fears about family members, about health, about the future. That sensation of feeling sick, and that gnawing ache are all too familiar.

Whatever worry or fear we are wrestling with, the Christian faith can make all the difference. Sometimes it is hard to believe in a good and compassionate God, when there is so much heartache and suffering in the world. Yet maybe that is precisely the time to believe. There must be something better somewhere than the pain and misery of humans at war.

In Isaiah 41 verse 10 it says ‘ Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.’

God calls us to trust, even in the darkest night, and to know that when He is with us, there is nothing to fear. In Christ, we are kept safe in this world and the next, and so all is well. Even when we are most anxious, or feeling overwhelmed, God holds us by the hand, and leads us forward. And that is enough.

Gracious God, You saw the suffering of your Son Jesus Christ as He experienced the injustice and violence of the world, so You understand our fear and worry. Thankyou, that even in the most dire of situations, You come alongside us, and You transform our terror by Your Words of encouragement, and Your reassuring presence. Your Holy spirit brings us that Word in season, that restores our perspective and helps us find the peace we long for. Thankyou for Your abundant blessings, and Your promise never to leave us, and the comfort this brings at each stage of our lives, Amen.

Glory!

I was one of the fortunate ones, looking in the right direction at the right time, and saw the northern mights at the weekend, a kaleidoscopic dance of lights that was so remarkable. It was ethereal, ever changing, and just spoke of the glory of God. Such incandescent beauty!

I love that even when we are at the end of ourselves, when things seem heavy and dark, suddenly light can break through. Even when the world is in such chaos, with conflict and suffering and sorrow, somewhere there is still the possibility of hope. It is such a dramatic and profound truth, that can transform all things.

I think of a verse from Micah chapter 7 verse 7 ‘ As for me, I watch in hope for the Lord. I wait for God my Saviour, my God will hear me.’ I love the idea that the presence of God brings hope. Sometimes we wait a long time, but things can change for the better.

We need hope so badly. I hope every day for peace in the world, an end to arms dealing and exploitation and cruelty and torture. I pray for God to pour out His blessing, His healing and grace and mercy. I hope for a more faithful and prayerful church, with people of authentic faith, more purposeful living, humility and compassion. We all need to ask forgiveness for our part in all that is wrong in the world, and to hope and pray for God’s will to be done, for His love to be received by all.

May it start with us. May we let go of prejudice and self centredness and jealousies, of self doubt and insecurity, so that we might embody the love and grace and hope central to the Christian message. May we be open to the promptings of the Holy Spirit, so that the radiance of Christ might blaze once more in this world, causing us to fall on our knees and worship. May our eyes be open to notice the glory of God around us, that we might be full of reverent praise.

Creator God, you have fashioned such sublime rhythms of colour and brilliance in this world, from the wings of a kingfisher, to the wonders of the night’s sky. We are full of awe at Your majesty. Lord Jesus, You are the light of the world, and Your light can illuminate and transform the darkest places, where we are tempted to think that there is only despair and heartbreak. Holy spirit open our eyes to the radiant presence of God around us, and the possibilities of hope. May we, along with the angels, lift our voices to sing of your glory, with thanksgiving and with awe, in Jesus’ name, Amen